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Keep Breathing

Contributed by sideshowrunaway on Tuesday, 27th May 2003 @ 12:05:00 PM in AEST
Topic: AngryPoetry



Holes in my skin
Like holes in my head
Anger seeps through them like a drug
One day I'll hurt you
I just want to feel it once
I don't give a damn what's right or wrong
I'm not sure I ever did
And if you want to judge me based on that
then go the hell ahead
I don't care anymore
I used to care, but that was my problem
If you let yourself care then you let yourself feel
If you let yourself feel...
you let yourself down
I let everyone down, didn't I mommy?
I hurt everyone's feelings
I made everyone cry
I made everyone face the truth
And the reality of it all
Was that you pushed
and hit
and screamed me away
Yes I did this
I did it all
And I...don't...care
I wish I were blind
So that every time I looked at you
I wouldn't see the pits in your eyes
The ones that made me sick to my stomach
Made me feel like a mistake
I wish I were deaf
So I wouldn't have to cover my ears
When the sirens went off
AND YOU WOULDN'T SHUT UP
So I wouldn't feel guilty when I heard you cry
When I heard you yelling to my father
About my sickness
...and you wouldn't shut up
I wish my nerve endings
Didn't reach the surface of my skin
So that I couldn't feel the fire from your
Hands
Fingers pressing into my throat
Blocking my airway
Until I can't breathe
And then I realize
The hands are mine
And I'm a little girl again
And I'm alone
In my bed
Trying to kill myself
By holding my own breath
Begging God to let it work
As I said my bedtime prayers
Maybe that's when I stopped believing...
Those nights when I kept breathing




Copyright © sideshowrunaway ... [ 2003-05-27 12:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Keep Breathing (User Rating: 1 )
by LadyDama on Tuesday, 27th May 2003 @ 12:11:10 PM AEST
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"Maybe that's when I stopped believing...
Those nights when I kept breathing"

this is tragically sad... i have a favorite saying "i need this like a hole in the head"... after reading your poem, "hole in the head" has a new meaning... keep writing it out... it's better than the alternative, and if you keep breathing, we can keep reading, your well written poetry... blessings to you...


Re: Keep Breathing (User Rating: 1 )
by razorbladerose on Wednesday, 28th May 2003 @ 07:56:21 AM AEST
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Wow girl! It's clear that you have alot to say, and i think it's great that you do tell it! You have a way with words and in expressing yourself in a marvelous way. Keep writing!


Re: Keep Breathing (User Rating: 1 )
by MX on Monday, 9th June 2003 @ 11:36:58 PM AEST
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i want to write like you.that was really well written.




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