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Array
(
[sid] => 179998
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Clinical
[time] => 2014-12-11 13:25:14
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Scared to be forsaken. Shaken from being left alone. In this darkness. I am mistaken. Have you come to build us a home? Mistreated and degraded. One deserves better than themselves. When the light reaches the window, we are gifted, with warmth and intangible wealth. Our minds elucidated, a conundrum solved. On the forefront in the foreground, where focus is concentrated, it is now reflected with hope. For I stand shivering, and muttering small talk in the cold. New York City winters are unforgiving. I wish I could forgive myself. Fear that the past infringes on my ability to indulge. Teach me how to laugh, with you uninhibited, and without any woes. Show me how to dance softly, in the dark, without stepping on your toes. Like an empty vase, you are my water, pleading for a solitary red rose. Sick thoughts, of sick things, continually pelt a stream of blame. I will change. But who am I, if not the man who has been diagnosed clinically insane? Signed on the dotted line, my life given away, I play a dangerous game. Chances are, the one I need, feels exactly the same. The forces that be, control destiny, and this moment will assuredly, never come again. My own worse doing. I create the love. Then build it up. To tear it down. In hopes of being something I was, something profound. A king without a crown. Anyone can be pretty, when no one else is around. Instead, I find no normalcy, only jealously, left to compound, and confound. Confusing? As if it weren’t enough, I have lost my senses in the face of the aroused. Now I dare find fault in you, judgment abound. Purity is imagined, as no one is left untouched. A body ravaged, my aches and pains will never be enough. I am devoid of feeling and medicated as a crutch. I am left reeling from what was intentionally rough. Although punishment, in its corporal form, has left its ugly mark. A vision of you turns my head spinning, as I have loved you from the very start. ---- - [comments] => 1 [counter] => 840 [topic] => 43 [informant] => Jyssvw22 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
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