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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	29-May 17:44:13 AEST

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Array ( [sid] => 179412 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Twirly [time] => 2014-10-08 10:44:33 [hometext] => [bodytext] => The red lights flicker
I'm in the play house again
Naked
Nothing but skin
Cool air from the squeaky ceiling fan
The guitar wails
Pristine chords
Unclean girl
Wipes my stomach
With a smile
A hot towel
My time had expired
Her face looks worn out and tired
She hasn't slept in days
Only keeps half of what she makes
I close my eyes
Say thank you and leave
In peace
Until I need
My next release

--
-
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 305 [topic] => 43 [informant] => Jyssvw22 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Twirly

Contributed by Jyssvw22 on Wednesday, 8th October 2014 @ 10:44:33 AM in AEST
Topic: oops

The red lights flicker
I'm in the play house again
Naked
Nothing but skin
Cool air from the squeaky ceiling fan
The guitar wails
Pristine chords
Unclean girl
Wipes my stomach
With a smile
A hot towel
My time had expired
Her face looks worn out and tired
She hasn't slept in days
Only keeps half of what she makes
I close my eyes
Say thank you and leave
In peace
Until I need
My next release

--
-

Copyright © Jyssvw22 ... [ 2014-10-08 10:44:33]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Twirly (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 8th October 2014 @ 08:01:47 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

whoa...

I feel like I just experienced something
for free...

I really love the title and and the imagery.
Excellent poem!
Peace!

Re: Twirly (User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on Sunday, 12th October 2014 @ 12:44:12 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Too quickly this was over.
The snippets of images flash on and off at us like light passing through the squeaky ceiling fan. You have set a jagged table where the reader has the gift of interpretation, and it set my imagination into a tailspin! Well crafted, brightly colored, and assembled like a mosaic of moments torn carefully into shards and left to us with not enough parts to a make a whole image!
Love the style!
softerware

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