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Array ( [sid] => 17898 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => Nothing Special [time] => 2003-05-21 07:35:00 [hometext] => read the title [bodytext] => i bought an old school straight razor today
for no reason that i know
perhaps i'm just getting ready

nothing seems to move me anymore
no anger, no sadness, no hatred
can be squeezed from this stone
of course, i act the part
but, inside, i merely shrug
and go back to sleep

again, i feel as if i'm penning prophecies
like i've done so many times before
predicting my emotional, mental
and, soon, total downfall
even this does not move me
i know that i'm continually describing my death
i know that it will come to pass
and i just can't care

it seems pointless to struggle
obviously, it's already been written
on this paper and in the stars
all that is left is to wait

all my emotions and memories
are neatly folded and stored where they belong
my mind is off-white and sterile
hands-folded, i sit on the edge of my mind
and wait for some fate-flung bullet
to tear through my skull

i feel no urge to phone loved ones
to tell them one last time how i feel
(in case i die tonight)
if they don't already know
then, it's probably not important anyway
so i'll just kill time
'til i kill myself

this "poem" has no point, i suppose
just a rare moment of inner-truth i felt like sharing
when you read this, you'll think nothing of it
you'll think it's just another scrawl
but this is all as real
as anything can be in this artificial world
soon, probably, i'll stop posting
and no one will think twice

i will be dead
and it won't matter
the world will still turn
nothing will have really changed
except for the fresh grave at the cemetery
and the dried blood
on my new old school razor
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 183 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Cancer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Nothing Special

Contributed by Cancer on Wednesday, 21st May 2003 @ 07:35:00 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

i bought an old school straight razor today
for no reason that i know
perhaps i'm just getting ready

nothing seems to move me anymore
no anger, no sadness, no hatred
can be squeezed from this stone
of course, i act the part
but, inside, i merely shrug
and go back to sleep

again, i feel as if i'm penning prophecies
like i've done so many times before
predicting my emotional, mental
and, soon, total downfall
even this does not move me
i know that i'm continually describing my death
i know that it will come to pass
and i just can't care

it seems pointless to struggle
obviously, it's already been written
on this paper and in the stars
all that is left is to wait

all my emotions and memories
are neatly folded and stored where they belong
my mind is off-white and sterile
hands-folded, i sit on the edge of my mind
and wait for some fate-flung bullet
to tear through my skull

i feel no urge to phone loved ones
to tell them one last time how i feel
(in case i die tonight)
if they don't already know
then, it's probably not important anyway
so i'll just kill time
'til i kill myself

this "poem" has no point, i suppose
just a rare moment of inner-truth i felt like sharing
when you read this, you'll think nothing of it
you'll think it's just another scrawl
but this is all as real
as anything can be in this artificial world
soon, probably, i'll stop posting
and no one will think twice

i will be dead
and it won't matter
the world will still turn
nothing will have really changed
except for the fresh grave at the cemetery
and the dried blood
on my new old school razor

Copyright © Cancer ... [ 2003-05-21 07:35:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Nothing Special (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 21st May 2003 @ 07:56:34 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

OMG! Please do not do this. It will matter to a lot of people if you kill yourself. I REALLY don't want you to. Your poetry is so raw and expressive and I have come to find real comfort in reading your poetry and knowing that someone else has the same thoughts as I do. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PM me if you need to talk and before you do anything I may have to live to regret.

sleepless_siren

Re: Nothing Special (User Rating: 1 )
by razorbladerose on Wednesday, 21st May 2003 @ 08:26:17 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Sleepless_siren explained my exact thoughts...as did you in this write! I been there too, and i find myself going back quite often at almost 26 years of age! The best thing for you to do my friend, is to keep writing about it as you just have, especially since you have in my opinion, been given a gift in doing it beautifuly! Please PM me when new ones are posted! Thank you for sharing!

Re: Nothing Special (User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on Wednesday, 21st May 2003 @ 01:45:32 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

No no no, please don't... I've read a lot of your poetry, and I think it's all excellent. You obviously have a beautiful soul, and a wonderful talent with words. You'll never know what you had to live for unless you live to find it. Give it a chance. Don't give someone else a reason for unhappiness or guilt. There is always something, and someone, to look forward to. Life is lumpy, but there's always light after the darkest moment. Please think, really think, before you do anything rash.

Blessed Be,

~ Moonlit Angel

Re: Nothing Special (User Rating: 1 )
by wyrd_faerie on Wednesday, 21st May 2003 @ 04:53:45 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

ooh...please, please, please don't do this...you have such talent and can move so many people with your words...please...you're worth so much more than that...

Re: Nothing Special (User Rating: 1 )
by tease_whizz on Monday, 26th May 2003 @ 04:43:13 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

your cynicism is oddly refreshing - i like the cyclical movement of this poem. maybe no one would notice on this site, but i doubt there is no one out there that would not miss you.

the title is inaccurate. i hate to sound like i'm pointlessly flattering but no one with your talent can ever be called 'nothing special'. i hope you keep writing, i await each new poem. Kate x

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