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Hard to Believe

Contributed by LizNovot14 on Thursday, 26th June 2014 @ 12:37:00 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide



When she wanders through the halls all day

with a smile plastered on her frozen face

I find it extraordinarily hard to believe

That he doesn’t know it’s a mask


And when he asks about the bloody scars on her wrist

And she says, “Please, don’t be ridiculous!”

I find it extraordinarily hard to believe

That he really thinks it’s her cat


And when she musters up the courage to ask him out

And she looks in his eyes and he sees all the doubt

She finds it extraordinarily hard to believe

That she’d fail if she were to guess


Because in her mind he sees her all scars and all broken

She forgets that she’s gorgeous and smart and outspoken

She finds it extraordinarily hard to believe

That he would ever say yes


When she tugs on her sleeve, uncomfortably

Trying to hide what he doesn’t want to see

He finds it extraordinarily hard to believe

That she’s still standing there


And when he pulls her close and he looks in her eyes

Just him and just her; there’s no more disguises

He finds it extraordinarily hard to believe

That she thinks that he doesn’t care


But let’s pause

Take a step back

And think about this for a minute


Because I bet you think she’s just over dramatic

The scars and the tears are just mere theatrics

You would find it extraordinarily hard to believe

That any of this is true


You say it enough and she starts to believe it

“What’s wrong with me?” she asks; she changes and changes

But you’re trying extraordinarily hard not to believe me

When I say it’s because of you

It wasn’t her looks or her attitude either

Her “overdramatics” were overly minor

She wasn’t looking for romance; she was looking for love

She’d be willing to accept it no matter where it came from

Because she never received it from anywhere else

And she knows you don’t mean it when you say, “Be Yourself!”

Because herself wasn’t good enough and that’s how she felt

And because no one ever told her, she killed herself

And with the blood on the floor and the rope on the door

And the gun in her dresser, she had options and more

And when you look down at her grave and you say it’s her fault

Because suicide is selfish and she did it without thought

You can look at the parents who just lost their child

The boyfriend who thinks it’s his fault and then lie

And say that you’re sorry for their loss, but you don’t understand

That although you didn’t pull the trigger, her blood is still on your hands

Because how can suicide be selfish when she thought it was a favor

When you can look me in the eye and say that she did it for her

Then I guess you can answer me this:


Through all the unkind words and unfair judgements year after year after year

How was it her who took the easy way out when you didn’t stand up because of fear

It was a choice that you made to save yourself and I hope that your guilt never ends

And don’t you dare pretend that you were thinking of her

You think suicide is selfish, but tell me, would you prefer

to be living in your own personal hell on earth

Wishing for love, but thinking you don’t deserve it

Sitting there wondering, “What’s wrong with me?”

And with no one who answers, you answer yourself

And you decide, everything he said was a lie

You think, “I’m ugly, I’m fat, I’m stupid, I’m worthless and now I’m complaining

How could I be so selfish?”

But most of all, you think to yourself

“Why can’t I do it? Why do I hate myself?”

But then you decide, as you uncap the bottle

And apologize once more for wasting the Tylenol

But you figure they won’t care when they find out what it’s for

At least not when they find out they don’t have to deal with you
anymore.




Copyright © LizNovot14 ... [ 2014-06-26 12:37:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Hard to Believe (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Thursday, 26th June 2014 @ 03:41:39 PM AEST
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a heartwrenching read, so beautifully written, everyone should read this poem,
if this is about you and you need a friend or someone to listen, i'm here, and i
do understand this, please read my poem felo-de-se intersection
http://www.your-poetry.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=18926

blessings,
love n' hugs nessa

@->>->>----


Re: Hard to Believe (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 26th June 2014 @ 06:25:53 PM AEST
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Wow, powerful stuff. Hits the nail on the head for me, thanks so much for sharing this, what a great poem


Re: Hard to Believe (User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on Friday, 27th June 2014 @ 11:19:46 AM AEST
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great employment of long run rhyme sequence. Very well written. Thanks for sharing this!

Best,

Invierno


Re: Hard to Believe (User Rating: 1 )
by Ferrari14 on Friday, 27th June 2014 @ 06:44:01 PM AEST
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Awesome




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