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Array
(
[sid] => 178264
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => A Saturday Night
[time] => 2014-05-04 14:51:22
[hometext] => While not exactly a poem, I began to write my thoughts while in a state of thinking too much, and it seemed to flow in a way.
[bodytext] => Everyone is so quick to "move on" these days, like their is some sort of strength in forgetting. No sooner than is someone gone do they have someone new, "You need to move on, you'll feel better" "Why dwell on it when you can just move ahead, forget it ever happened", not even taking the time to see that maybe, just maybe it might be worth it not to run away, or to leave or to forget. Because what would that prove besides that I didn't actually care, when the opposite is true. Why wouldn't I want to remember, it may hurt, but isn't there something said about nothing worthwhile being easy. I am not an emotional person, but I am passionate, and I crave meaning in the stories of my life. Nothing is precious to hardly anyone anymore, that is the problem. I use to not believe in Love, because I never saw it, everywhere I looked I saw people throwing "I Love You" around, but their was nothing there, no meaning in the words, just hollow shells, sugar pills if you will for the mind not the heart, it was like they were ashamed of it, like in the movies, disguised as Love but only a bridge laid for lust and nothing more. It becomes tiring when among such false fantasies, hearing the same tale of "The Game of Sex" and how many times you've played, and all the times you've used the cheat code "I Love You". Such is the way of the world, but I desire so much more. But do I believe in Love now? I'm afraid I do, for how could something that hurts so much not be there. I cannot speak for another, but I know that the feeling could only be described as closing ones eyes and reaching to the stars, becoming and closer and closer, breath drawing sort, excitement flowing, then falling back, unknowing of when the impact was coming, but the shock and terror jolts through your body, every possible scenario goes through your head, it feels like you have been like this for so long but it has only been a moment and you wonder how many more moments will be like this, it's scary because it's different, and only when you have fell completely will you truly know. And then you hit suddenly and unexpectedly, but it doesn't hurt because when you open your eyes you see that you were caught, heart racing, nervous, exhilarated. Who would ever help you when you fall, butterflies in stomach, speechless, I'm not shy you just took my breath away. I didn't see an angel, no, what I saw was so much more beautiful. So no, I will not forget and move on, if it is my fate to be alone then so be it, but the day that I forget is the day that I am no longer me, I will not become the same as all these sheep and just follow the herd, I will not be the wolf who hunts mindlessly, and I will not be the shepherd that demands to be followed. What I will be, is what I am, a Beast, longing for what seems to be out of reach, and I will keep counting the pedals of my rose. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 80 [topic] => 24 [informant] => TheJman [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LoveRemembered )
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