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Array ( [sid] => 178190 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The Good News [time] => 2014-04-20 06:23:09 [hometext] => Mass, Passover, and…brains!!! [bodytext] =>

Happy Zombie Jesus Day!
that’s all I said as they walked away
to worship Christ in their way,
on Happy Zombie Jesus Day

‘He died and rose from the dead’
that’s what one of them said:
offered his flesh as matzah bread,
proffered his blood as communal wine
—a celestial body on which to dine

I laughed out loud and slapped my knee
against this holy hypocrisy:
‘eat my flesh and drink my blood’,
are you slaves of a cannibal God?

faced with their cultish pride
I waved my Zombie Survival Guide:
‘while you sing hymnal refrains,
you’re scoffing down his wafer brains!’

now, nothing more is made to please us
then the taste and smell of Chocolate Jesus;
and he starts an eBay bidding war
when he manifests in some coleslaw

but when the dead begin to rise,
take a lesson from the wise:
‘only a bullet between the eyes
will keep ‘em down past sunrise.’

still, Zombie Jesus might be hip
—offered up as a holy dip
slumming it with hoes and beggars
who tap his jugular for keggers…

they said I sinned and went astray
then enjoined me to pray;
but I just had to walk away
on Happy Zombie Jesus Day.

[comments] => 5 [counter] => 235 [topic] => 56 [informant] => spike [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => sarcasticpoetry )

The Good News

Contributed by spike on Sunday, 20th April 2014 @ 06:23:09 AM in AEST
Topic: sarcasticpoetry

Happy Zombie Jesus Day!
that’s all I said as they walked away
to worship Christ in their way,
on Happy Zombie Jesus Day

‘He died and rose from the dead’
that’s what one of them said:
offered his flesh as matzah bread,
proffered his blood as communal wine
—a celestial body on which to dine

I laughed out loud and slapped my knee
against this holy hypocrisy:
‘eat my flesh and drink my blood’,
are you slaves of a cannibal God?

faced with their cultish pride
I waved my Zombie Survival Guide:
‘while you sing hymnal refrains,
you’re scoffing down his wafer brains!’

now, nothing more is made to please us
then the taste and smell of Chocolate Jesus;
and he starts an eBay bidding war
when he manifests in some coleslaw

but when the dead begin to rise,
take a lesson from the wise:
‘only a bullet between the eyes
will keep ‘em down past sunrise.’

still, Zombie Jesus might be hip
—offered up as a holy dip
slumming it with hoes and beggars
who tap his jugular for keggers…

they said I sinned and went astray
then enjoined me to pray;
but I just had to walk away
on Happy Zombie Jesus Day.

Copyright Â© spike ... [ 2014-04-20 06:23:09]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The Good News (User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on Monday, 21st April 2014 @ 08:54:46 AM AEST
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I'm with you, but if you took some of that energy spent scoffing, and used it instead to seek a non flesh eating form of spiritual enlightenment, your soul would be more well served.,

Re: The Good News (User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on Monday, 21st April 2014 @ 10:39:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I consider myself spiritual these days, but I was smirking to the humour you've laced this 'sarcastic' piece with. Some funny lines:)

~Scorp

Re: The Good News (User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on Monday, 21st April 2014 @ 11:29:13 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Yikes…the irreverence is deafening! I may never look at Easter the same again without thinking happy Zombie Jesus Day….
(How many can hear the William Tell Overture without picturing the Lone Ranger?)

You have corrupted us! Thanks for the humor!
softerware

Re: The Good News (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Thursday, 24th April 2014 @ 11:33:13 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

wicked funny lol,

hugs n' love nessa

Re: The Good News (User Rating: 1 )
by spud on Friday, 27th June 2014 @ 03:59:46 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Spikers!

Jaunty, heretical, and funny - but don't think
I'll be showing this to my local priest.

God bless you, my son!

S

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