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Array
(
[sid] => 178171
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I smile.
[time] => 2014-04-18 11:26:56
[hometext] => This poem is a pretty much a sum up of how I have been feeling lately. I'm trying to get back into poetry after about 5 years so here's to the first of many hopefully!
[bodytext] => I smile I smile when I see her grey eyes, lustrous orbs of deep thought and compassion. Her wide and shy smile tucked beneath the burnished black of her hair. I smile at every joke she makes and glances away as if making eye contact is too intimate a thing to share in a crowded classroom. How every time our gazes meet it is more sacred to me than any blessed holy day. I smile at the late night anecdotes, her carefully judged time between each reply so as not to seem clingy, yet, I do the same. How every word that comes out of her mouth seems lost to her beauty yet is more meaningful than any other I have heard. I smile at the long walks home where every worry seems to melt into the dull grey of the empty streets that bloom into wholesomeness when I have her company. I smile at the moments of silence, when nothing is heard except the gentle breaths of two young and insecure teenagers, trying to keep cool when it is everything but. I smile at her feeble attempt to start conversations, which I have no idea how to carry or end, but savor every excuse to gaze at her gently bowed head. At her charmed giggles to my lame and hurried jokes and quips that only have meaning between the two of us. I smile. But I will never have the courage to ask. It will tear my soul everyday of my living to know that I will never have the courage to tell her how much she means to me. The throbbing fear of rejection clenches my tongue and the trepidation of unrequited love kindles the furnace of my insecurity. The fear that I will shatter the very fragile beauty that gives me the courage to wake up every morning and face this icy world I fear the day when I have postponed my feelings for so long that every lace spindle in the dew dropped web of teenage love has unraveled and flutters away into awkward glances of regret and uneasiness. I think about what should be, what could be, if only I had the heart And I cry. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 109 [topic] => 22 [informant] => Daydreamer101 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
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