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Array ( [sid] => 177510 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => She Won't Know [time] => 2014-01-02 04:50:32 [hometext] => [bodytext] => its broken, its split, the pieces in me that somehow hold a semblence
of a life together and i can feel every
poison in me leak through the cracks in my skull
if i lay my head down I feel unbalanced all the fluid pool to
one side and the tempting urgency to stop breathing and
just die
the torture in knowing there is no escape and its all dual sided
the messages are confusing, empty, tired, withdrawn and don't even know
what to say to me anymore
i'm tired of these waves, these voices, this exhaustion
my own sick disgrace. I've built my own walls and knocked every
single one down I've injected streams of chemicals through me
and wondered why I never feel alright
I can never grasp ahold of anything, I never know what it is I need, what she needs,
What I believe. the tide of tears in me threatens to break the bank and I have nothing to hold onto so our death certificate will say
she sank [comments] => 1 [counter] => 100 [topic] => 61 [informant] => cherryamber [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

She Won't Know

Contributed by cherryamber on Thursday, 2nd January 2014 @ 04:50:32 AM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

its broken, its split, the pieces in me that somehow hold a semblence
of a life together and i can feel every
poison in me leak through the cracks in my skull
if i lay my head down I feel unbalanced all the fluid pool to
one side and the tempting urgency to stop breathing and
just die
the torture in knowing there is no escape and its all dual sided
the messages are confusing, empty, tired, withdrawn and don't even know
what to say to me anymore
i'm tired of these waves, these voices, this exhaustion
my own sick disgrace. I've built my own walls and knocked every
single one down I've injected streams of chemicals through me
and wondered why I never feel alright
I can never grasp ahold of anything, I never know what it is I need, what she needs,
What I believe. the tide of tears in me threatens to break the bank and I have nothing to hold onto so our death certificate will say
she sank

Copyright © cherryamber ... [ 2014-01-02 04:50:32]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: She Won't Know (User Rating: 1 )
by alicewhite on Tuesday, 21st January 2014 @ 04:40:36 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

stunning and profound writing, pain despair and sorrow leads people to think about things on a far deeper level cause they feel different to others around them who seem not to experience this process, naturally the thought then occurs in most cases that if they find a comforting and assuring explanation for why they seem to be so different, then this in turn might possibly enable them to return to a previous state of mind laballed (NORMALITY) instead of the frighteningly overwhelming state of mind they are experiencing labelled by many as (INSANITY). This is the experience of soul growth, we don't understand whats happening and so we become fearful, we fear we are insane which leads to more fear,CORTIZOL, then OXYTOCIN kicks in -the bonding love hormone and things don't seem quite so bad, and you realise your not crazy after all, ITS JUST A STATE OF MIND,

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