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Array
(
[sid] => 176970
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Time 2 B Strong
[time] => 2013-10-09 08:13:22
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Exhausted from the thoughts and fears in my head Finding that what's inside me is small compared to whats ahead Wanting things to be diffferent but I know where it all starts fighting to change myself well this is truly the hardest part As I wake and stretch and embark on a new day I struggle as I hope to see new things, yet it all stays the same The picture is blurred and the vision no longer there what I wanted things to be and for all that which I cared Everything gone ... My life like sand in a fist feeling what do I have left now, nothing but this This, this shell of a me, empty searching to be fulfilled This my life, my words and my sanity spilled. Intense feelings of failure a constant reminder of what i am not But my own coach, my own motivational speaker, this is what i got Me...just me, since the day I was born, this I'm told is all I need that I must learn to love myself, I need to be in Love with me Loving yourself is not always as easy as it seems to be For we must ask of ourselves that which we expect others to see Now think about what we want, it is to be understood above all else But how can we expect this when we cant understand ourselves It's in those lonely of the nights and in darkness of depspair where the questions of who we are, who want to be...becomes so clear In the darkness we see the old, the ugly and our unfinished self then we stand in the light and those feelings we dispel A facade the tool we use to forget the thoughts of the darkness But its a cycle of abuse we inflict on ourself with such a fierce harshness A reminder of everything we are not capable of in our very own eyes Stealing from the past the memories of what inside we try to hide I refuse to be held down by insecurities anymore I'm a strong woman that is not defined by what has happened to me before My past is what brought me to the present but not taking me where I am to go In my present I will find the strength I need to conquer and I choose to grow. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 96 [topic] => 61 [informant] => Vr2776 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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