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Array
(
[sid] => 175611
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Its jus too much
[time] => 2013-03-30 22:38:04
[hometext] => everyone has their own story
[bodytext] => some people say the bible is real
for me its what i feel
like when i was a kid
blood dripped down my thigh
i didnt scream casue i was just a scared kid on the inside
all i could see was my cuzins eyes
like the devil in broad daylight
this happened more than once
abuse is in ones life forever
vivid memories is what i remember
at times i sit down and cry asking why
why was it me? its too much, just too much
everyone has their own story and this is mine
iv been a lost boy since the age of ten
trapped in a twenty year olds skin that barly fits em
turned to drugs to escape the pain
the needle ran deep in my viens
that beautiful sting
i wish i cud earase it away
but i remember every ***** thing
its impritined in my brain
like a loving couples wedding ring
i wanna run away to a place
where im in a blank face in a crowd of people
no one would notice me, no one would stare
its not that i really care
i just wanna get out of here
to where everyone understands me
cause i dont think many people do or care
[comments] => 4
[counter] => 1178
[topic] => 66
[informant] => kylebaz
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => drugabuse
)
Its jus too much
Contributed by
kylebaz
on
Saturday, 30th March 2013 @ 10:38:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
drugabuse
|
some people say the bible is real
for me its what i feel
like when i was a kid
blood dripped down my thigh
i didnt scream casue i was just a scared kid on the inside
all i could see was my cuzins eyes
like the devil in broad daylight
this happened more than once
abuse is in ones life forever
vivid memories is what i remember
at times i sit down and cry asking why
why was it me? its too much, just too much
everyone has their own story and this is mine
iv been a lost boy since the age of ten
trapped in a twenty year olds skin that barly fits em
turned to drugs to escape the pain
the needle ran deep in my viens
that beautiful sting
i wish i cud earase it away
but i remember every ***** thing
its impritined in my brain
like a loving couples wedding ring
i wanna run away to a place
where im in a blank face in a crowd of people
no one would notice me, no one would stare
its not that i really care
i just wanna get out of here
to where everyone understands me
cause i dont think many people do or care
Copyright ©
kylebaz
... [
2013-03-30 22:38:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Its jus too much
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 31st March 2013 @ 01:15:21 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I read this and I feel ashamed to know such things are true. But not because of you, or this truth that you wrote. To me, it's very important, and a true account/ which must be said. It rolls off your mind, and believe it or not, it's very good writing.
Abuse, cruelty is real. Real people with real potential succumb to drugs. Even good mothers and fathers do too.
Escape - just for second, it seems is all they can do, after so much turmoil. It doesn't happen after a bad day or a week, or maybe an unlucky year. Violence is real, criminality is a learned trait for the most part.
Your mind is telling you, no not me, I just want to be just an untouched face in the crowd, just nobody, who never intentionally did a bad thing. This is guilt we all should feel.
It was hard to read what you wrote. But I can see something good coming out of you.
I care about what you say. What happened to you could have happened to me.
When I first started writing I was four. Then, as the next few years rolled around (about twenty five give or take), I gave up, no, I didn't give up on writing, but the out pouring of what I should say and why.
So speak. Don't stop. And don't be afraid/ not ever/ any more.
Not speaking is the jingle jangle traffic noise/ the slanted
cottage refuge/ the imaginary vessel in the sea of unintended consequences. Why do you think shame is easy for some and not for others to feel? What they do or what they did or why --- is this easy? Drugs can be this harmonious freedom to the mind, body, and soul, but only for a short time/ one who truly knows might come to learn. You are real my friend. And damn it, you can write well. It's there in your verse structure. To me it shows an intelligent voice. One that can wipe out a lot of the misery and not just for you, if you do. Your best friend to you is the possible life free of shame. MLK Jr. once said something like that.
Peace!
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Re: Its jus too much
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 31st March 2013 @ 02:22:02 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very sad but great writing.
I pray you find inner peace.
Huggs, blessing,
emy |
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Re: Its jus too much
(User Rating: 1 )
by kylebaz on
Sunday, 31st March 2013 @ 01:13:36 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| thanks for the support and love, this is one of the few poems iv written since i was 14 or 15. im glad my writing skills are still with me, i plan to keep writing as it helps me get things off my chest. |
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Re: Its jus too much
(User Rating: 1 )
by Helenesovig on
Wednesday, 1st May 2013 @ 03:35:50 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
This was very beautiful. So sad and dip, it heard to read it, very touching. You must have allot to deal with.
Only respect from me. |
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