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Array ( [sid] => 175150 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => My love [time] => 2013-02-17 04:13:55 [hometext] => It's my first time to write a poem and English is not my first language so please don't criticize my grammar errors [bodytext] => Call me stupid, crazy if you want
because the person that I love
is someone I can never have
forbidden, that's how I'll describe it

When you're lonely at night
and have no one to talk to
you know I'm always here
ready to listen to you

I'm a fool for love
cause I never learn from it
my heartbreaks are no lesson
it just gives me more motivation

You're my teacher
and I'm your student
yet you treat me so different
and I always wonder why. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 97 [topic] => 2 [informant] => lonely09 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )

My love

Contributed by lonely09 on Sunday, 17th February 2013 @ 04:13:55 AM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

Call me stupid, crazy if you want
because the person that I love
is someone I can never have
forbidden, that's how I'll describe it

When you're lonely at night
and have no one to talk to
you know I'm always here
ready to listen to you

I'm a fool for love
cause I never learn from it
my heartbreaks are no lesson
it just gives me more motivation

You're my teacher
and I'm your student
yet you treat me so different
and I always wonder why.

Copyright © lonely09 ... [ 2013-02-17 04:13:55]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: My love (User Rating: 1 )
by thehotshotpoet on Sunday, 17th February 2013 @ 09:08:11 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

very good first try
thanks for sharing
thehotshotpoet

Re: My love (User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on Sunday, 17th February 2013 @ 09:02:06 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Like the Hotshotpoet said, very god first try. I will offer some advice that might help you. If you choose to do quatrain rhyming style poetry, you should focus a bit more on the rhyming words. Quatrain style, which is stanzas or paragraphs of four lines with lines two and four, last words rhyming. The grammar is not important in poetry so much, as it is the words that make a poem what it is. In many cases, when using grammar in poetry, it just won't sound right. I am willing to bet that you are a good writer, as it seems so. Keep up the good work!

Wayne

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