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Array
(
[sid] => 173821
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The last words of a cancer patient
[time] => 2012-09-16 07:01:39
[hometext] => When all words fail.
[bodytext] => Lost in the darkness of my own mind What I might find, is not what you want to find Its pain, but of a different kind Scream all you want, but they won’t hear It’s too dark for anything to be clear Forced to face every single thing you fear Four walls surround you, blocking all senses Every muscle in your body flexes and tenses What will happen next, in the moment I snap And all emotion pours out, like an open tap I look in the mirror, see the devil looking back His eyes are dead, enveloped in black Dreams turn to nightmares, nightmares to reality How long till another is added to the numbers of fatality The cancer, it eats away from the inside I tell them it’s okay, but it’s obvious I lied How long do I have till deaths at my side? And who, with my last wishes, will I confide? My eyes open for barely a flicker Then I lose the wicker And the flames extinguish I can feel the tears slide down in anguish But I can’t see, I CAN’T SEE The cancer took my sight, along with everything I used to be Help me, I pray, I beg everyday I’m still alive, so why am I being left to decay I just keep smiling for my family I smile so they don’t think I’m scared But to the fear that I’m feeling nothing ever compared What will happen, to my baby girl, and what of my wife? Will I ever see her again, in the next life? Day 73 it is now, I’ve lost all hearing That’s my sight and my hearing gone, What now should I be fearing? I still feel my wife’s hand in mine, She never does leave the whole time She has had my heart from the start, When she stole it in the perfect crime I can feel my two year old girl, Stroke her fingers down my face We only have days now, It’s the final leg of the race I try to whisper, but I can’t hear if its right I push on, giving it all my fight “Rosie, daddy’s girl, I’m leaving soon so hold me tight, Who knows where I will be at the end of the night” I feel moisture slide down my face I feel out and I follow the trace It’s Rosie, she is crying She knows I am dying Her tears fall and fall, and it hurts right to my core But I just hold her tighter and tighter, wishing for more More time, more sight, more hearing For my mind to give up on itself, in a hope of clearing Day 79, a few more than predicted I’m barely hear anymore, majorly constricted I keep thinking of the day my girl was born September 7th, at the essence of dawn As she entered the world, and I made that promise ‘I’ll never leave; I’ll keep you safe all your life’ I let down the promise, my kid and my wife By the end of the night, I will be flying through the skies The only thing left now, is to tell my goodbyes With the last of my breath’s I crumble and shake And gather the words to be left in my wake In all my final strength I pull my wife into an embrace And I aim my final words, at what I think is her face I love you with all my heart From here where we are at the very end From the very first day that we called the start Be strong my soul mate, we will pull through Up In heaven, is where I will wait for you [comments] => 2 [counter] => 299 [topic] => 48 [informant] => damian [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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