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Array
(
[sid] => 173738
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The negativity of a wondering mind
[time] => 2012-09-03 16:51:59
[hometext] => ramblings of a mind that had a bad day
[bodytext] => I'm feeling a bit lonely today A feeling that will not go away A feeling, no one needs to endure It seems to come on, when I'm unsure Of all the things going on with me How I won’t allow, anyone to get too close to see How insecure and un-attachable I can be How I rack my brain, trying to understand Why I can’t give myself, 100% to a man Why I can’t trust, he will truly love me back Why self-love, and self-esteem is what I lack What has happened to me, that at times I feel so low? Why can’t I shake those feelings, why can’t I let them go? I could give you, a thousand reasons why But each one may very well be a lie Why do I hold on to my past, like an unforgettable old lover? What is it that I need to discover? I thought I had buried my past, and moved on I thought all the pain, and misery was gone I though finally, I could open my heart, and be free Why am I letting my fears consume me? Why is it so easy, for me to allow love, and then push it away? Why am I so disciplined that way? Chaos, confusion, and self-pity all seem to be tempting lovers today And I find it so hard to walk away So I sit here with all these silly thoughts in my head When I should be on my knees, at these times instead All this is what happens, when Satan has his way Because today was just a day, I let my mind wander away I was ***** off, about gossip no matter false or true When all I have to do, is say my heavenly father, I need you I gave to him the burdens that weighed heavy on my heart, and soul And all the things, that were out of my control And he restored, to me a peace of mind The peace that I was longing for earlier that day, and co unit find Just a day, a day I let my mind go astray [comments] => 2 [counter] => 244 [topic] => 43 [informant] => desire [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
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