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Array
(
[sid] => 173693
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Depressions Touch (happy you stayed)
[time] => 2012-08-26 18:51:37
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Angels cry, as the tears fly All emotion comes out in a breathless sigh Never really been loved before Struggling to find something worth fighting for The anger, the panic, the pain, it’s all inside me Eating away from the inside, no chance to flee It burns and it twists, And gives off a fiery hiss Until I strike out and hit solid in a panic attack Stayed my length in this town, it’s time to pack Blood streams down my fists, Leaving a bloody track What would you know? What scars do you have, that you don’t show? I have been let down from the moment I was born Lost so many brothers, always left to mourn But nobody seems to understand just how badly I am torn I’m searching through the wreckage, of a life with nothing to salvage But there is nothing here worth my effort to pillage Do you know what came when needed? When nothing else would listen as I pleaded A girl who understood me, who helped me out What i didn’t know is that she was always sneaking out As I remained loyal she was added to the list that let me down The night I saw you getting with my best mate I didn’t even frown You see I was so used to being let down, I expected it all I didn’t say a word, I just turned around Because every bridge that she had helped me build, Had just been burned down Wanting death but never had the courage to end a life Picked up the drugs and walked a line as sharp as the edge of a knife And you all judged why I left this world for a few single hours As I would smoke the sacred petals of weeds and flowers It was all for that pain, it wasn’t just to fit in I just wanted to fill that empty whole, that blackened pit You don’t understand, depression is a type of cancer Every time I seemed okay it came back with an added enhancer And ripped away at all the confidence i had started to build And left my soul, lifeless and coldly chilled These words are for anyone who ever felt depressions touch Who ever felt that every day, it was all just too much? And these lines are for my mates up in heaven Marksy, Delilah, Jack and my boy Kevin I’m not afraid to say that when you guys died Day in, day out, every single one of us cried I still sometimes cry myself to sleep late at night When the war seems way too hard for me to fight And I cry to the morning, when I first see the sun And I know that another day of hell has begun It’s too early to let go, too late to hang on And the weight on our shoulders seems many a tonne The emotions are running deep in me You want to know some more? I was the one who killed one of my mates I know what you all say, the doing was fates But I let us get in that car, and I knew Marksy was drunk And the worst thing was, after we hit that trunk I was awake the whole time, I saw it all I saw Del next to me as she began to fall, The fear in her eyes as the car crushed in her side It’s those last few seconds from which I can never hide They haunt me, they hinder, every singly night As you both left with the angels in a one way flight I awake from nightmares, screaming, drenched in sweat As I’m forced to relive the moment the car and tree met How long did I stay in that car, it seemed like forever Yet time had no value to me, it was all part of never How I screamed until hoarse at a moon that remained unblemished As every single sane cell I had left in me cherished Oh but nobody cares, yet they say that they do They care about themselves, not me or you I hide my feelings behind a rock hard wall It’s only on the odd night that these walls fall But when they do the tears flow and flow And I’m left feeling the lowest low And that is why I hit the drugs and alcohol While you and your friends think that they know You think I’m doing it to make me feel cool Live you’re ***** life in my shoes if you think that’s why See how far you get, the drinking numbed the pain It took away that blame I placed on myself, and with it the shame But still you spread the word that I’m not the same That all my friends are messed up, that we’re playing life like a game Well how about you hear our story out first Then maybe you will know why I have this anger always ready to burst That’s why I started fighting, to place the blame on another soul It enriched my mind, and made me whole The drugs, the drugs, the drugs The shoves and the tugs Falling into a spiral, with a non-existent floor Now you see why I never felt good enough, but you still expect more? Then you came, you know who you are The girl of my dreams, lighting my world up like a star The alcohol, the drugs, it all stopped in an instant For once in my life I felt existent You make me smile, like a fool, every day More than that, you gave me a reason to live, and find another way I had never before planned for the future at all, Always thought id be dead by the end of this fall But you have me planning ahead, about my life with you For you I will always stay completely true They say when you first meet your soul mate, You get butterflies at first site, and chills from fate Every time I lay eyes on you, I get the same feeling as the first time You have stolen my heart, but it’s the perfect crime I’m not ashamed at all, to shout it to the world I’m in love with the most beautiful girl in the world I can be myself, and laugh and smile And give her all my love, in one big pile I promised her from the very first day That no matter what happened I will be here to stay She doesn’t realise how perfect she is in her own way Always been put down, made to feel like the darkest grey She is her own worst enemy in her head But it’s her past, which to here has lead I’m so keen to travel the world, her hand always in mine Never letting her go, not letting her fall of this line I will marry her one day; she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen I love you, every single part of this I do mean So I guess there’s my story, there is a lot to learn There are as many paths you may take, as there are leaves on a fern The main moral you should take from this story is here: There is no need in your life to follow glory Sometimes all it takes is something, or someone to believe in to pull you through But it takes time, and in this time you must be true When things are looking hard, never give up, it will be okay One day soon, you will find something that will make you happy you stayed [comments] => 2 [counter] => 267 [topic] => 55 [informant] => damian [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => dedicatedpoems )
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