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Array
(
[sid] => 173647
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Raging Inside
[time] => 2012-08-19 17:08:00
[hometext] => When you're married and you've grown apart!
[bodytext] => Raging waters my emotions rage the same. you pushed me off a waterfall, only i know you're to blame. My emotions are rapid, breaking down the barriers I do hold. Like swimming in ice cold water, feeling dazed from the water so cold. Memories flow as my emotions get the best of me. Deep inside I am very hurt, the more I think, the more I get angry. Feeling very sad, about things happening to me, I’m getting very quiet, feeling the need to be alone, you see. Deep in thought, thinking about everything that I do. Wondering why I am who I am, not turning into someone meant for you. Not realizing your actions, or how you actually speak to me. My emotions have turmoil, I am not what you want me to be. Thank God I am strong, always able bury the pain. Only I am sick and tired, of dealing with you again, and again. I think our time, has finally come to end. It really seems, you have someone else, just around the bend. I have feelings of hate, very few of joy. I have wanted to leave you, but haven’t, because of our boy. Sad in my heart, my mind going crazy with thought. You recently cheated on me, and admitted it when you knew you were caught. The trust is broken, never knowing when you will lie. I will always be there for my boys, but to you I have to say goodbye. Furiously a fire burns within my soul. For many years, It has been telling me I pay too high a toll. So I am depressed, and sad inside. I can trust my own decisions, knowing in myself I can confide! Seemingly a game, but really it is not. I thought I had the right women, until my heart had been shot. We are so different, In every imaginable way. You are so unhappy around me, I can see it every day. Were not being fair to each other, especially to the children we brought into this world. All of these thoughts and emotions, painfully cause me to be in a fetal position all curled. My body may be motionless, as here I lay. But my feelings and emotions, certainly rage away. It is not so much to ask for, to be happy in this life. To have a woman who loves me, that wants to be my beloved wife. Just allow me to be a child, as I am only growing old. It seems to keep me feeling young, don’t worry about what you’ve learned or have been told. Young at heart, childish in ways to make people smile. I am what I am, so don’t judge me until you have walked in my shoes for a mile. I am not always so serious, as it tends to make people so sour. I’d rather be a loving husband or friend who can make anyone laugh at any minute or any hour. Trying to dispose of these emotions caused by the negative emotions of you. It might take me a few days, but I am going to figure out what I should do. Written by E. Wayne Searles on 19 August 2012. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 121 [topic] => 75 [informant] => waynster [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )
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