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Array
(
[sid] => 173442
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Harsh life.
[time] => 2012-07-24 23:21:54
[hometext] => Life isn't always as it seems. People hide and people die. Scared to be them self, terrified of human life, depression gets too much. Than someone's life just turns to dust.
[bodytext] => 2007, a year she'll never forget. First year of high school, your life changes and you wanna be cool. Councillor's and theropists. Medication and weekly sessions. Frighten by the world empty and dark inside. The girl, wore her smile upon her face to stop the questions asked and for people to give her space. Friendship ties broken, depression and fear take over. Suicide was an option, not only a option but she had tried it. Not just once or twice but four or five times, She grabs her throat and ties the rope. Pulls up hard, and starts to choke. Purple face, blue and red. Eyes go blood shot, and tears fall down. She lets go and starts to cry, tears fall down she just wants to die. She moves on to another day. Bullied and teased, discarded and burned up. The names and the lies all build up. Slut and anorexia, hurtful words that are not true. Get the girl down on the blue. Walks home crying and kicking up dirt. Runs to the forest, screams and shouts. Tears roll down her face, now she's all flushed. She wipes the tears clear. And fixes up her hair. She goes on walking like nothing happened, an no one would care. Walks through the door, to see her mum there on the floor. It happened again. Dads Infuriated and intense. I go to my room, and sit on my bed. I cry and cry, and again want to die. I get my book and write it out the words of pain that haunt her again. Kill me now, let me die. Written on the pages more than a hundered times. Day turns to dawn, all light is gone. She asleep but reawakens, she hears the sound of her mothers cry. Shook up by what she can hear, she looks at her mum and sheads a tear. Mummy, mummy. Are you okay? They weren't no tears of joy, no tears of love. They were the tears of pain and wreck. Sweetie please go back to bed, the words of her mother bring her to fright. Her Dad walks by and starts to cry. He looks at the girl, then back to her mother. The mother says to the girl, your dad is trying to kill himself. Horrified and speechless, she breaks down in tears. Paralyised, she just hopes for it all to be just lies. Confused and stunned by what has become. Why? And how are the words that come. The girl looks over at the kitchen bench only to find medication and pills missing from there box. She runs and cries, from kitchen to hallway down to her brothers she screams and yells and tells them to awake to young to understand. She explains what her father has done. He walks up face still flushed. Eyes filled with red, why does he want to be dead. He takes hold of his three children, and tell them its too late. Hours have past only such time is left. Tears roll down, and the words that the girl will never forget. I don't want to be here, I will miss you and love you all. Distressed and in dwell, the girls father looks unwell. He looks over and say the words no little girl should hear. "take care of your brothers, they'll both need you". Greiving and screaming the young girl cries. She looks out side to see bright lights, red and blue alight the house. Her father gets provoked and starts to go mad. Police enter the house and the girls mother is just in her blouse. The cry of her father she has never forgot. Suicide nearly took his life. 3 months have past, his out of rehab. He is now home, still alive. Young girl says to him why'd you do it why try and commit. What made you do it dad why try and leave. The reply of her father she has never forgot. It brings her to tears, and still she fears. It's 2011 and still she remembers, the day, the night and all of what happened. deserted and overcome, life hasn't been easy. Day by day, she walks around still that feeling of suicide. Sometimes she just wants to die. Two things stop her everytime. Seeing the forsaken pain in her mothers eyes. And the loss of her best friend, who loved his life. Things may change but memories won't die. That young girl is still so shy. Her happiness is hard to find, till this day she's still alive. Depression still kicks in, thoughts will come and go. But she knows that if she goes. It was all just a waste, of time and space. She will survive she will overcome, it's not in her will, to give up so young. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 216 [topic] => 36 [informant] => LauranHyde [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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