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Array ( [sid] => 173433 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => In a land before time [time] => 2012-07-24 10:31:55 [hometext] => sometimes the weirdest things come out of a daydream this is one [bodytext] => in a land before time
so very far away
long before the cave man
& what politics have to say

long before we were civilized
that is the word they said
long before christ
or the breaking of the bread

there was a place so peaceful
that anything you touch
would thank you with a smile
because it meant so very much

in that land you were greeted
on any given day
in a land where people listened
to what you had to say

no matter the occasion
or what a tragedy might inspire
the way folks joined together
I truly do admire

looking back in this daydream
I wonder how they did survive
although their love & understanding
is why we are alive

I guess what I wonder
most of all is how
did we go from love & kindness
to what we have right now
the hot shot poet

[comments] => 1 [counter] => 102 [topic] => 19 [informant] => thehotshotpoet [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => InspirationalPoems )

In a land before time

Contributed by thehotshotpoet on Tuesday, 24th July 2012 @ 10:31:55 AM in AEST
Topic: InspirationalPoems

in a land before time
so very far away
long before the cave man
& what politics have to say

long before we were civilized
that is the word they said
long before christ
or the breaking of the bread

there was a place so peaceful
that anything you touch
would thank you with a smile
because it meant so very much

in that land you were greeted
on any given day
in a land where people listened
to what you had to say

no matter the occasion
or what a tragedy might inspire
the way folks joined together
I truly do admire

looking back in this daydream
I wonder how they did survive
although their love & understanding
is why we are alive

I guess what I wonder
most of all is how
did we go from love & kindness
to what we have right now
the hot shot poet

Copyright © thehotshotpoet ... [ 2012-07-24 10:31:55]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: In a land before time (User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on Tuesday, 24th July 2012 @ 02:46:19 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Of your poetry that I've read the one flaw that I almost always see is the use of Adjectives when they aren't needed. It tends to detract from the poem and makes the rhymes sound awkward or forced.

Aside from that it's pretty good.

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