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Array
(
[sid] => 173160
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => What I lost
[time] => 2012-06-25 16:13:01
[hometext] => It has been a while since I posted one of my poems, so I decided to put this one up. I have been told to start putting my poems in paragraphs or stanzas. I'm a little busy right now so I'll try later
[bodytext] => I feel like I have found a lost Close friend of mine. She has helped me through so much still more to come. I feel like I love her. This friend will always be at my side, but I will miss the feeling. When I talked to her I felt like we had connection. This connection came from the hope that we could become more. That is but a lucid dream now. I know we will be close, but I don't know if I'll have the same feeling around her. We barely have anyway to talk anymore, and even hearing each others voices is going to be rare. She wants me to be happy, but sometimes it feels like life is trying to keep me in the prison of misery that I have already painted in my own blood. I have felt like this before and the feeling only comes when I know it's true. She may deny it with all of her being, but we aren't meant to be. I don't know where she will find true happiness, but I do know that it's not with me. I thought that she was the one for me. She is the only one that I have felt like she was perfect. Why is it that every time I feel like I know true love it turns into a strand of light in the darkness. It's always enough to be seen but never enough to help me see. I have shown her so many of my writings and poems but this is the only one I have second thoughts of showing her. In a previous poem I wrote "This is my world. This is my hell." I thought it meant that I owned this life, but now I realize that it truly means that this is the punishment that someone or something has deemed worthy. I don't know what I've done to deserve this, but wether it was in this world or another I don't want to know. Anything that I have done worth this kind of torture would have been able to cause the worst kind of mayhem and destruction to make me deserve this. I have had multiple tastes of hevan. Just to have it taken away in a matter of weeks. I don't see why the crimes still effect me though. I am a different person who only wants to have fun and be happy with friends. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 138 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Lhd100 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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