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Array ( [sid] => 172958 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Untitled [time] => 2012-06-11 17:21:37 [hometext] => The first poem i've ever written. I'm using poetry as a medium to channel my issues and such, as i've been going through a difficult period of my life. I'm not an English student and i don't know the rules so to speak of poetry, they're just my thoughts. [bodytext] => Love is peace, a meadow untouched,
and hate is love the devil has clutched,
but the love i hold is tattered and torn,
not evil, not yet, but soon i should warn,
choler will spread, and hate shall be born,
envy will flourish and my heart will still mourn,
one thing I must do, to stop this event,
wrath I must channel and love must be lent,
for there is just one cure for a humbled heart,
I must love again and my hate will depart. [comments] => 8 [counter] => 295 [topic] => 43 [informant] => BenRhodes [notes] => Please do not comment on your own work. Your comment on this poem has been removed. You can send someone a private message if you wish to thank them. Thank you. Moderator_18 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Untitled

Contributed by BenRhodes on Monday, 11th June 2012 @ 05:21:37 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

Love is peace, a meadow untouched,
and hate is love the devil has clutched,
but the love i hold is tattered and torn,
not evil, not yet, but soon i should warn,
choler will spread, and hate shall be born,
envy will flourish and my heart will still mourn,
one thing I must do, to stop this event,
wrath I must channel and love must be lent,
for there is just one cure for a humbled heart,
I must love again and my hate will depart.

Copyright © BenRhodes ... [ 2012-06-11 17:21:37]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Monday, 11th June 2012 @ 06:17:38 PM AEST
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Welcome to YPDC.
You have as nateral knack for poetry.
You've begun a journey that will take you where you wonna go and then some.
Just let it flo.
My talant for writing is just a gift on loan from God.
When you look back on your own writing it will amaze you.
Just let it flo.
Blessings, huggs, smiles,
emy

Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by nluchett on Monday, 11th June 2012 @ 06:53:36 PM AEST
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Welcome!

Very nice first write!

Once you start you won't stop!

Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by richard2 on Monday, 11th June 2012 @ 07:26:57 PM AEST
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The first poem is always a journey
through a poet's soul.
I've been fussing with words for a long time
and they don't seem to want to stop.
Welcome to the faternity, as you keep writing
keep reading, the more poetry you read
the better you will become.

take care and again welcome

Richard

Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 11th June 2012 @ 07:37:48 PM AEST
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Nice poem. But it is pOssible for love and hate to exist in one heart and both be justified. Love the reciprocating good and adversely hate evil and it's consequences. But I think I get the context that you're writing it in. Poetry isn't prescriptive. It's objective so it's possible a Harvard English professor could teach you all the nuances of the language yet have no artistic capacity to pen a poem.

Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on Monday, 11th June 2012 @ 09:58:27 PM AEST
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Having taken literature courses, I think being ignorant of poetry is by far better than having a great knowledge of it. But then, I feel that way about most things I learn. In fact, the more I learn, the unhappier I become.

Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by Action567 on Tuesday, 12th June 2012 @ 12:59:07 AM AEST
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To be the first poem that you have written, it is very good. You will find as you write more, it will get better and better and you will be hooked.

Jackie

Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Tuesday, 12th June 2012 @ 02:04:51 AM AEST
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First of all welcome to the halls of YPDC.
A first poem? I am very impressed.
Nicely written, flows perfectly, love the message.

Michelle

Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by sebgreen on Tuesday, 12th June 2012 @ 11:03:36 AM AEST
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Very nice first poem ! (understatement of the week !). Keep on writing. Poetry can't really be taught I don't think although studying poetry can help you find your way and influence your style.

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