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Array
(
[sid] => 172553
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => 10
[time] => 2012-05-17 22:48:18
[hometext] => Middle school anorexia
[bodytext] => 10. The age I'd love to forget. The awkward 5th grader Who hadn't quite shed her baby fat yet. Hadn't even hit puberty, But I thought I had it all figured out. Still too innocent To know of the obstacles to come. 9. The grade that marked my new beginning. 13 years old, I was now an awkward freshman With too much self confidence, But also with the knowledge That the hard part was over, And that it could only get better from here. 8. The early hour of the morning For my disdainful school day to start. A much too soon start Was not the only strict rule That this Baptist school held. 7. The number of boys In my eighth grade class. While every other girl Was worrying about boyfriends, I didn't think I deserved one For they were too busy calling me fat. 6. The grade I was in when I went against that rule, And I fell in love. With the smell of sweat on gym floors, With the adrenaline you feel As your coach calls you into a game. With the minute touch of the ball on your forearms As you complete a perfect pass. I fell in love with volleyball. 5. The fingers of my hands That held the key to my future, Yet refused to pick up a fork. The fingers I watched shrink into bones, As my waistline led the way. 4. Four months was all it took, For 20 pounds to slip off, For my daily exercise to lose control, For my head to ache every day, For my whole being to be dominated By the demon named Anorexia. 3. Three years of change, Is what I have gone through. I have cleared away the cobwebs, I have faced the obstacles, I have chased away my demon, I have found myself again, From the darkness that pulled me in. 2. I have two legs, Which is luckier than some, I know. My legs have carried me To some places I never want to be again, But also to where I am now. I command what they do. I make my vision be their destination. I will always make them go Where I know I need to be. 1. I have one life to live, The one that I will never take for granted again. I will fight, But never hurt the ones I love. I will hurt, But always get up just to face the danger again. I will face everything that shows itself to me, Because all that doesn't kill me Can only make me stronger. 0. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 124 [topic] => 61 [informant] => BeccawillbeBecca [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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