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Array ( [sid] => 172488 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Full [time] => 2012-05-13 20:35:25 [hometext] => This just came out, not sure how poetry works, just expressing myself [bodytext] => I lack the knowledge
The creative pursuit
I lack the skill
My brain is their boots

My mind drains
I suffer
My body takes the toll
This is not my face

I look in the mirror
Broken concepts
Tunnels full of water
My chest is sinking

Heavy
Give me a hat
My eyes are weak
101 things to be complete

They all watched me fall
After I pushed
I cannot do this
Bring me my axe

A pile of logs
A broken little girl

Will I ever be whole?
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 220 [topic] => 13 [informant] => EveAlone [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
Full

Contributed by EveAlone on Sunday, 13th May 2012 @ 08:35:25 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



I lack the knowledge
The creative pursuit
I lack the skill
My brain is their boots

My mind drains
I suffer
My body takes the toll
This is not my face

I look in the mirror
Broken concepts
Tunnels full of water
My chest is sinking

Heavy
Give me a hat
My eyes are weak
101 things to be complete

They all watched me fall
After I pushed
I cannot do this
Bring me my axe

A pile of logs
A broken little girl

Will I ever be whole?




Copyright © EveAlone ... [ 2012-05-13 20:35:25]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Full (User Rating: 1 )
by richard2 on Sunday, 13th May 2012 @ 10:21:39 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Not bad
some good metaphors
condense a litle next time
and you get there
remember poetry is addictive'
once the bug gets you, you'll
always write
I've been bitten for fifty years

take care
richard


Re: Full (User Rating: 1 )
by poewhit on Monday, 14th May 2012 @ 01:59:22 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Poetry, comes in all shapes, forms and sizes. It will reach someone somewhere. Keep Truckin


Re: Full (User Rating: 1 )
by northernlights on Tuesday, 15th May 2012 @ 02:49:18 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Down trodden lack of self esteem to the extent you don't recognise yourself any more.Going under and at the same time taking responsibility for what is happening to you......bring me my axe...owning the process. strong summary a broken little girl.The darkness lies in the reality of this write and I can feel the pain and the anguish,


Re: Full (User Rating: 1 )
by dojo1970 on Saturday, 19th May 2012 @ 08:33:25 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
expression is one of the many poetry forms. Anything you feel in written form is a poem. It may or may not touch everyone, but some people will understand how you are feeling or get where you are coming from because they have similar experiences. I encourage you to keep writing. Good luck.




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