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Array
(
[sid] => 172436
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Reflection.
[time] => 2012-05-10 09:52:28
[hometext] => Sometimes I struggle to rise above the sewage that floods our beautiful world. My heart aches to find it's true home. My physical body aches from the beatings, self induced and governmental, and my mind screams for peace. I know love, nature and the value of maintaining a spring in one's step. I hate, detest and abhor rules, parameters and catergorising. I wanted to write a haiku out of respect for the tradition. So I did............ Is it wrong in any way?
[bodytext] => Hollowed out eyes,
etch into sorrowful face.
Love's spring to replace?
[comments] => 4
[counter] => 158
[topic] => 17
[informant] => Raggie
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Haiku
)
Reflection.
Contributed by
Raggie
on
Thursday, 10th May 2012 @ 09:52:28 AM in AEST
Topic:
Haiku
|
Hollowed out eyes,
etch into sorrowful face.
Love's spring to replace?
Copyright ©
Raggie
... [
2012-05-10 09:52:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Reflection.
(User Rating: 1 )
by thehotshotpoet on
Thursday, 10th May 2012 @ 10:34:08 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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looks right to me thanks for sharing
the hot shot poet |
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Re: Reflection.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 10th May 2012 @ 02:50:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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There is nothing wrong with all that you said. Is this haiku wrong? Over the years I have read several definitions of haiku and have formed my own conclusion. Again, their definitions and my opinions are probably nothing more than that...opinions, so I may very well be wrong too.
My conclusions is that there is no such thing as an English haiku. Japanese and English...two entirely different forms of language. I saw on here a comment from another member what these are in English but I cannot exactly remember where or when.
As for writing, yeah, I am with you abhorring rules, parameters, and categories...although sometimes a category may fit. I do find 5/7/5 very very restricting. With that restriction, it is even harder to guess your meaning here. If that's intentional, then cool. If not, then message kinda sorta conveyed. 
Just keep writing the way you see fit. It's your poetry, do with it what you will and desire.
On a totally off topic, if you reply to me (or anyone else for that matter) via the comment section, the other member has to make a point to come back here and look. They have to remember to do that and I don't think there's a way for other members to get notices sent to their emails from your account. We can, however, get notices sent to us if you send a private message. so, if you or anyone else reading this really values opinions and values your time and ours enough to see your reply, resounding here is a lot of waste. Plus it throws off the entire 1:1 ratio. In other words, quite frankly, it's a pain in the arse. 
Thanks,
Tim
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Re: Reflection.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 10th May 2012 @ 02:53:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| *resounding was supposed to be "responding". D'oh! |
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Re: Reflection.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Me1234 on
Thursday, 10th May 2012 @ 06:25:03 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I enjoyed this very much: well done |
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