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Array ( [sid] => 171833 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Other Shoe [time] => 2012-04-09 16:23:20 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Every second I run this race
Worry I'll trip, fall on my face
Look over my shoulder side to side
Knowing there's no place to hide

Bang upon bang behind each wall
Waiting for the other shoe to fall
Alone with help nowhere in sight
Hard to tell my left from my right

Upon moment of birth until death
Lungs struggle to catch pure breath
Mind gripping fear shredding control
Cold fingers reach to freeze a soul

Burying past worlds not the answer
Correct wrongs to prevent future disaster
Build walls too tall for fear to scale
Run fast, outwit the screaming wail

Deep sigh, think beyond the pain
Inhale as the truths fall like rain
Fear took me down its crooked path
Time for fear to face my wrath [comments] => 3 [counter] => 159 [topic] => 75 [informant] => dvtpdw [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )

Other Shoe

Contributed by dvtpdw on Monday, 9th April 2012 @ 04:23:20 PM in AEST
Topic: anguished

Every second I run this race
Worry I'll trip, fall on my face
Look over my shoulder side to side
Knowing there's no place to hide

Bang upon bang behind each wall
Waiting for the other shoe to fall
Alone with help nowhere in sight
Hard to tell my left from my right

Upon moment of birth until death
Lungs struggle to catch pure breath
Mind gripping fear shredding control
Cold fingers reach to freeze a soul

Burying past worlds not the answer
Correct wrongs to prevent future disaster
Build walls too tall for fear to scale
Run fast, outwit the screaming wail

Deep sigh, think beyond the pain
Inhale as the truths fall like rain
Fear took me down its crooked path
Time for fear to face my wrath

Copyright © dvtpdw ... [ 2012-04-09 16:23:20]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Other Shoe (User Rating: 1 )
by Ellewood on Monday, 9th April 2012 @ 06:01:52 PM AEST
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I could feel your raw emotions--good luck on this journey of self discovery. Thanks for sharing....

Re: Other Shoe (User Rating: 1 )
by Byrdie on Tuesday, 10th April 2012 @ 11:30:27 AM AEST
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GOOD POEM BUT YOU COULD EASILY MAKE IT MORE READABLE BY MAKING SURE EACH LINE HAS 4 BEATS............EXAMPLE:
VERSE 1....LINE 4 SHOULD BE
"KNOW ing there's NO place for ME to HIDE.",
would give you 4 beats......you have 4 beats in lines 1,2&3..........if you fine tune it, I would like to read it....check out the other verses for the same corrections........thanks for the read.

Re: Other Shoe (User Rating: 1 )
by deusdeira on Wednesday, 11th April 2012 @ 05:06:29 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I'm not gonna lie... I have no idea what this is about. Ok, I'm lying. Nice poem. Very fluid, and very unique. I loved the rhyme scheme as well.

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