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Array
(
[sid] => 171685
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => A Mother's Hate
[time] => 2012-04-04 06:08:38
[hometext] => I wish my mother would love me, and that she would have stopped the abuse from her boyfriend. This is just random, ranting, letting out my emotions..
[bodytext] => A mother's love, the strongest, right? Wrong. My mother set hers alight. She ruined it with drugs and alcohol, She lost sight of what was hers by right. Her own daughter, victim of abuse, She never stopped it, never accused. She knew it was happening, knew it was true, She saw it in my eyes, but acted like she had no clue. I told her again and again, She never reacted, she's completely insane. He told her he wanted me, wouldn't stop til he had me, Forced me out of my home, away from my own mother. I wish you stopped him, I wish you cared, You're supposed to love me, life is unfair. He left me tattered and torn, battered and broken, You said nothing to stop him, not a word spoken. You went through it too, sexual abuse, You should understand, want to help me too. You left me alone with him, expecting nothing, You knew his intentions, knew I was cutting. I hated myself because you hated me, Rejected myself because you rejected me too. I thought I was wrong, off, pathetic, whore, He wanted to sleep with me and even more. He got in my head, I had to get it out, I would hurt myself, I was devout, Devout in my endeavour, to cleanse my blood, To cleanse my soul, to get him out. I want to go back, hopefully you'll want me, I know you won't, just wishful thinking. I wish you would love me, would want me to hold, But I'm pathetic, disgusting, not your own. How could you let him do this to us? Used to be the best of friends, so much trust. Chose your drug-addicted boyfriend over your child, There must be something wrong, it's not just. I convince myself I'm over it, don't need you at all, But everytime I think of you, I can't help but to bawl. Pathetic, I know, you'd think I'd grow up, But I can't, I just want my mother's love. For once in my life, Can't you love me? [comments] => 1 [counter] => 88 [topic] => 14 [informant] => Kira-KILL-xx [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DreamsandWishes )
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