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Array
(
[sid] => 169722
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Normal Race
[time] => 2011-12-28 14:01:52
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => When I was a little girl, Christmas rarely came The magical idea of Santa was not part of our game My parents moved us around from town to town The thought of toys and games made them frown I believed in Santa Claus, always wished he'd show To bring me a doll, a pretty dress, maybe even snow We never had a Christmas tree, no holly on the door We've even slept through Christmas eve on a beach shore When I was a young teen, my father passed away I wanted to tell him, so many words left for me to say Our life with my father was not an easy one Angry with fists, he spoke through battles never won My mother followed in this path of hate I don't think she started out in that state My father taught her cruelty and meanness It was hard to escape both of their messes I tried to bring some cheer and hope to her She rudely declined both as I feared I stayed near her, by her side when she passed I felt a river of emotions until my heart crashed I always felt there was no good to me I would hide away, never let the world see I learned this from my parents, trash I was I didn't belong with normal people, just because It took me some time to work through the damage There are still remnants of that pain at this age I found out there was a Santa Claus through my kids I've felt the wonder and joy when opening that lid Christmas time no longer brings me a sense of dread I know some of what to feel, from books I've read Through my grandkids, I've found love and family embrace Guess I can say I"m ready to join the normal human race [comments] => 1 [counter] => 88 [topic] => 48 [informant] => dvtpdw [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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