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Array
(
[sid] => 168867
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => In My Mother's Shoes
[time] => 2011-11-27 17:50:36
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I lived in my mother's house until I was eighteen She never really told me where she had been I got an occasional look in to where she began There were stories of the life from which she ran I know that her childhood was destroyed at age ten Her own mother was lost to her and that was when I heard in her own voice a child filled with fear Of how her father tore apart all she held dear There were stories told when drink took over her voice Of pain, of child abuse, of losing all free choice She ran away to try to find a good life when she could Working for families, looking for hope as well she should Her path took a strange turn, meeting my father's shadow He was a man of anger, in fear she was left to wallow She spent the next eleven years hiding from his fists of hate Beaten, scared, she tried so often to run away from this fate Two children were born to them, their childhood never to be The fights, the rages, the drunkeness, so much hate to see When my father died, I thought then freedom was her option She chose from path of habit, my father's life her adoption I could not understand her ways, her hate of my own choices When God called her home, my mind went over her voices I think she was crushed from the time she lost her mother She wanted more from life, especially for me and my brother She missed out on so much, never even learned how to drive I think she always wished she had learned how to be alive I thought she never loved me, had maybe wished me dead That maybe I was a waste, it always filled me with dread I quietly close my eyes, breathe slowly, look back over the years I put myself in her shoes, feel the pain, the fists, all her fears I realize she was strong woman, a mother who withstood it all I realize that she took all the bad so we both could stand tall I know in my heart she loved me, and that I made her proud I wish I could tell her, hug her tight, and shout so very loud Mom, I love you, I'm glad you're the mother God gave to me Look world, my mother was here, and was the best she could be [comments] => 1 [counter] => 137 [topic] => 48 [informant] => dvtpdw [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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