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Array ( [sid] => 168189 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Loved once, Love Lost. [time] => 2011-10-28 21:19:28 [hometext] => Not done. I need some input(; ???? [bodytext] =>


Hoping for the day to be true
hoping for it to just be me and you

Can't we just be happy
can't things just go my way

I missed you so much
But will it last this time

You were my first love
you were my first heart break

You did it once.
can I trust you again

I want to
but can I? [comments] => 2 [counter] => 148 [topic] => 22 [informant] => cheygal10 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
Loved once, Love Lost.

Contributed by cheygal10 on Friday, 28th October 2011 @ 09:19:28 PM in AEST
Topic: LostLove





Hoping for the day to be true
hoping for it to just be me and you

Can't we just be happy
can't things just go my way

I missed you so much
But will it last this time

You were my first love
you were my first heart break

You did it once.
can I trust you again

I want to
but can I?




Copyright © cheygal10 ... [ 2011-10-28 21:19:28]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Loved once, Love Lost. (User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on Friday, 28th October 2011 @ 11:32:11 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
What type of input do you want?

I would say the best thing to do is really search yourself and write that. If it's superficial, the reader will know. Go with a natural rhythm. Don't bound yourself by rhymes (unless your challenging yourself, or are going for a very particular tone).

We all have our own voice, and our own music. Utilize yours. Don't hide behind rules. Just open yourself completely. The worst that can happen is that you'll be crushed, and that's a quick, painless end ^_^


Re: Loved once, Love Lost. (User Rating: 1 )
by RussellReinhardt on Saturday, 29th October 2011 @ 01:30:13 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Hi. I'm not that good but if you want input?
I'd take each line and build a vers around it, I'm just one of those people that likes to elabirate but its very good I get what your saying and I feel your pain. God bless

Greatings
Russell




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