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Array
(
[sid] => 167756
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Cost of Affectiom
[time] => 2011-10-10 14:54:55
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => It hurts me when you are sad, but what is worse is your smile. I do not wish to look at those lips formed like the sun setting in a mirror. I do not want you to be happy, because that just means you’ve forgotten me. You two get along too well, I think our memories are different. Sure I’m a villain, but you’re far worse. You spun your web caught me in it, and you’ve left me there as you feast on another meal prepared for you, where I cannot eat, you have your fill. I’m science fiction in your mind, and you the history of my heart. I do not wish to hear your laugh when I didn’t cause it. I feel as though there was no rosetta stone, im the lost tongue you never cared to remember. Because right now you’re doing too well. You said you were too busy, and now your time is free, you obligations still are the same, but now for some reason your time is free. The shackles on your watch are broken, the cogs grind the same song they have before they were chained, you tell me that you love me, but it looks like it was just asweet dream. Im awake now, I’m tossing and turning, sleeping pills on the counter shoveling them in handful at a time while you dose me with caffeine. I do not want to believe this web isn’t sticky, that it never held me in its arms, or fed me with its breast. I do not want to believe that. But you’re doing too well. You’re just doing fine. And me, im here, wracked with blame. The way is marred with shadows, the path is invisible virtually. From far off I can hear it, your smile. I used to think that behind those mandibles were sadness, but you’re just too happy. I’m crushed, im sinking, clouds are your shoes. Reclusive as I am, perched in my nest I cannot nourish these hatchlings, as you’ve taken their meal straight from my mouth. Red, red, red ,red ,red, red. Is my true color. Do not tell me not burn out, if I am a supernova a black hole is part of my course. Is it guilt or was it love? I cannot recognize that smile anymore, this laughter sounds foreign, this heart sounds broken. You’ve taken a piece and affixed it to your lips, the bottom half that curves upward, you tell me things I’ve seen in that dream, but maybe I was dreaming. Played like the screen, while here I was screaming, in the balcony sat you popcorn in hand, cue the laugh track. I do not want to believe this is the last chapter, but you’re on your sequel. The barcode for my love cannot be read, so in the trash it goes. It was worthless anyway.
[comments] => 5
[counter] => 193
[topic] => 39
[informant] => withoutaheart
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] =>
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Grief
)
Cost of Affectiom
Contributed by
withoutaheart
on
Monday, 10th October 2011 @ 02:54:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
It hurts me when you are sad, but what is worse is your smile. I do not wish to look at those lips formed like the sun setting in a mirror. I do not want you to be happy, because that just means you’ve forgotten me. You two get along too well, I think our memories are different. Sure I’m a villain, but you’re far worse. You spun your web caught me in it, and you’ve left me there as you feast on another meal prepared for you, where I cannot eat, you have your fill. I’m science fiction in your mind, and you the history of my heart. I do not wish to hear your laugh when I didn’t cause it. I feel as though there was no rosetta stone, im the lost tongue you never cared to remember. Because right now you’re doing too well. You said you were too busy, and now your time is free, you obligations still are the same, but now for some reason your time is free. The shackles on your watch are broken, the cogs grind the same song they have before they were chained, you tell me that you love me, but it looks like it was just asweet dream. Im awake now, I’m tossing and turning, sleeping pills on the counter shoveling them in handful at a time while you dose me with caffeine. I do not want to believe this web isn’t sticky, that it never held me in its arms, or fed me with its breast. I do not want to believe that. But you’re doing too well. You’re just doing fine. And me, im here, wracked with blame. The way is marred with shadows, the path is invisible virtually. From far off I can hear it, your smile. I used to think that behind those mandibles were sadness, but you’re just too happy. I’m crushed, im sinking, clouds are your shoes. Reclusive as I am, perched in my nest I cannot nourish these hatchlings, as you’ve taken their meal straight from my mouth. Red, red, red ,red ,red, red. Is my true color. Do not tell me not burn out, if I am a supernova a black hole is part of my course. Is it guilt or was it love? I cannot recognize that smile anymore, this laughter sounds foreign, this heart sounds broken. You’ve taken a piece and affixed it to your lips, the bottom half that curves upward, you tell me things I’ve seen in that dream, but maybe I was dreaming. Played like the screen, while here I was screaming, in the balcony sat you popcorn in hand, cue the laugh track. I do not want to believe this is the last chapter, but you’re on your sequel. The barcode for my love cannot be read, so in the trash it goes. It was worthless anyway.
Copyright ©
withoutaheart
... [
2011-10-10 14:54:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cost of Affectiom
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 10th October 2011 @ 08:57:13 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Welcome to YPDC.
Sad but beautifully written. I pray this is just a really good writing.
Huggs, blessings,
emy |
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|
Re: Cost of Affectiom
(User Rating: 1 )
by withoutaheart on
Tuesday, 11th October 2011 @ 07:40:45 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Thanks, I wish it were true though. We're both hurting a lot. She's probably feeling a lot worse because she loves me but I'm hurting her. So she's conflicted. All I'm feeling is sorrow, what she feels is something deeper. |
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Re: Cost of Affectiom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Robert_Edgar_Burns on
Tuesday, 11th October 2011 @ 10:31:54 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
The Bible says (Paraphrased) that
happiness is purely your Choice.
That love is a choice and forgiveness
is as well. It also says, "Though my
enemies slay me, I will joyfully follow
Him (the Lord). Job said "The Lord Giveth
and the Lord Taketh Away. Blessed be the name
of the Lord!" Life from birth and death from
old age are not our choice. But happiness is.
Choose happiness brother. And please keep
writing. Your talent is evident and you could
write to encourage others and be happy in
doing it!
Blessings,
Robert Edgar Burns |
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Re: Cost of Affectiom
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Tuesday, 11th October 2011 @ 03:40:41 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Deep Innervision
good release of what you are feeling
well done. |
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Re: Cost of Affectiom
(User Rating: 1 )
by antfarmer on
Monday, 24th October 2011 @ 07:04:52 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| great expression... i can relate. |
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