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Array ( [sid] => 167733 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => want feedback [time] => 2011-10-09 18:24:40 [hometext] => just want feedback never really done any poetry honest feedback thanks [bodytext] => When I try to take a break
and relax in my busy life
my heart it does ache
and all I think is how I miss my wife

It hurts me so bad
all this pain inside
thinking of the love we had
and the tears I have cried

I think of the places that we went to
how I love you with all my heart
and all the things we didn’t get to do
but most of all how we have been torn apart

I miss you so
and love you still
I did not want to let you go
but I tell myself it was Gods will

Every day I see things you done
it is lonely without you here
I try to be strong for our wonderful son
but all I can do is drink another beer
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 234 [topic] => 39 [informant] => Sparky19832 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Grief )

want feedback

Contributed by Sparky19832 on Sunday, 9th October 2011 @ 06:24:40 PM in AEST
Topic: Grief

When I try to take a break
and relax in my busy life
my heart it does ache
and all I think is how I miss my wife

It hurts me so bad
all this pain inside
thinking of the love we had
and the tears I have cried

I think of the places that we went to
how I love you with all my heart
and all the things we didn’t get to do
but most of all how we have been torn apart

I miss you so
and love you still
I did not want to let you go
but I tell myself it was Gods will

Every day I see things you done
it is lonely without you here
I try to be strong for our wonderful son
but all I can do is drink another beer

Copyright Â© Sparky19832 ... [ 2011-10-09 18:24:40]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: want feedback (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Sunday, 9th October 2011 @ 07:49:26 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Welcome to YPDC.
this write is very sad but it's great writing. I think u have discovered a hidden talent here. Keep writing.
I was just wondering if she passed a way or What?
Either way I.m so sorry for your loose.
Blessings,
emy

Re: want feedback (User Rating: 1 )
by Sparky19832 on Sunday, 9th October 2011 @ 08:09:22 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Thank you, and yes she did pass away in April 2011

Re: want feedback (User Rating: 1 )
by vampyrekiss on Monday, 10th October 2011 @ 12:08:39 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

very honest I can hear your pain and where your coming from. good write

Re: want feedback (User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on Tuesday, 11th October 2011 @ 03:46:17 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

The pain can be felt in this flow.....

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