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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 18:19:32 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 167477
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Life In The Mirror
[time] => 2011-09-24 22:42:39
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Life In The Mirror Looking in the mirror I closed my eyes, opened them and stared. I failed to recognize the person who returned my gaze. Eighteen months ago I had seen a clean-shaven and tidy reflection. Now an unkempt, gaunt visage appeared with sunken, lifeless eyes. It had all happened so fast I could barely keep up with the pace. Depression is insidious in its stealth and speed of attack. Redundant and fifty, the prospect of easy re-employment was remote. The ignominy of claiming benefits and traversing the system loomed. There is nothing more humiliating than begging for help, But to retain an existence in a flat and not be put out on the streets Forced the inevitability of trudging to the Council offices. I felt like a stain on the community armed with a begging bowl. Benefit office followed swiftly and hopelessness intensified. Endless questions, invasive, embarrassing reinforced the emotion. There is a belief that you are a spare cog in the machinery. The distaste of your position begins the rapid plunge downward. Within weeks the inadequacy of unemployment degenerated. It led to lethargy, mindless boredom in a lifeless world of drudgery. Friends and acquaintances fell away and the calls dried up. Before long I remained in my flat which had become my whole universe. Low self-esteem led to inactivity, agoraphobia and submission to fate. Without knowing it depression had fully taken hold and hooked me completely. It fuelled my self-loathing and forced me down the other path of Hell: The treacherous descent into seeking solace from a brightly coloured bottle. It took a year to realise where I had arrived but thank God I did. I sought the proper help which was offered because it really does exist if you want it. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Taking mine I underwent therapy and sought to haul myself up from the gutter. So now I stare at the dishevelled, hairy reflection in the mirror. I may be damaged and fragile but imbued with a new resolve. Acceptance is power and to empower oneself is the path to redemption. For the first time in a long time I smiled as I reached for my shaver. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 149 [topic] => 31 [informant] => aliopterix [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => StoryPoetry )
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