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Array ( [sid] => 167228 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Love [time] => 2011-09-03 13:54:29 [hometext] => Please comment on my new poem, I'm new to all this and want to know what you are thinking! [bodytext] => It's the feeling I get when we're both soaking wet,
Laughing and talking out loud,
Dancing under a rain cloud,
Yet naught but our hearts make a sound,
For this love that I've found,
Will always make me proud,
I'll even shout it out loud.

It's the feeling we get,
With kids to come yet,
Our first house or flat,
Just Me and You can live with that,
And I'll hold you in my arms all night,
And think 'I did something right'.

It's the feeling I will always hold,
And my love will make me bold,
And even when I'm old and can't see the light of day,
I will remember our happy wedding day,
And your love will show me the way. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 162 [topic] => 2 [informant] => EOR96 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )

Love

Contributed by EOR96 on Saturday, 3rd September 2011 @ 01:54:29 PM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

It's the feeling I get when we're both soaking wet,
Laughing and talking out loud,
Dancing under a rain cloud,
Yet naught but our hearts make a sound,
For this love that I've found,
Will always make me proud,
I'll even shout it out loud.

It's the feeling we get,
With kids to come yet,
Our first house or flat,
Just Me and You can live with that,
And I'll hold you in my arms all night,
And think 'I did something right'.

It's the feeling I will always hold,
And my love will make me bold,
And even when I'm old and can't see the light of day,
I will remember our happy wedding day,
And your love will show me the way.

Copyright © EOR96 ... [ 2011-09-03 13:54:29]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Love (User Rating: 1 )
by FlintHunter on Saturday, 3rd September 2011 @ 04:03:12 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Welcome to this wonderful website -- I am a newcomer here too -- arrived just a few days before you.

LOVE is a good poem with a lot sweetness to it. It's simple -- and that's great -- because it's easy to understand.

The feelings you express are almost universal; it is unfortunate that MANY people don't ever get to feel such LOVE. Realize how lucky you are...

I think you must find your own path in poetry. Nobody can really 'teach' you. Some might give you good suggestions, e.g., read a lot of great poems by the really well-known famous poets -- and some might suggest other ways to help you learn how to find your own poetic voice.

You've begun. If you are serious you must write and write and write -- and you be the judge of your own work; don't rely on others' opinions...

Be that at is may -- Good Job -- and value that dear LOVE of yours above all else!

--Flint

Re: Love (User Rating: 1 )
by ammar on Monday, 5th September 2011 @ 11:19:44 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I would describe this as a very good write. For me, rhyming is an integral part of most types of poems, and you have mastered that well here. Besides, the words flow smoothly and confidently, and you have conveyed your message effectively. The poem is certainly worth reading a second time!

Peace
Ammar

Re: Love (User Rating: 1 )
by deusdeira on Tuesday, 6th September 2011 @ 04:02:37 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

not bad at all. Very to the point and flows well.

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