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Array
(
[sid] => 166335
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => You
[time] => 2011-05-19 22:26:57
[hometext] => Sorry it's so disorganized and long... just venting the only way I can
[bodytext] => You beat me up But nobody sees the bruises They are inside... On my heart And the ulcers The reflux The weight gain The depression You didn't start this cycle alone But you didn't resist continuing it either I reach out to you And you reach back... Until just before I can touch you Then you jerk your hand away And leave me sinking in the quicksand False hurt like a child pouting for and crying for candy Until you turn your back and laugh You shouldn't be so confident As to turn your back On someone armed with your knives in their back But you know I care too much And won't really hurt you like that So you take advantage And become your mother The one you so despise For everything she is and has become Dangling the bait To make me dance Like the dog You treat me as But telling me I'm in the wrong Making me cry and feel guilty When you are the one throwing me away Like month old garbage After 5 years of marriage Because you think an 18 year old(with a grudge against me) is worth dating And the kids? What am I supposed to tell them? I will not lie and make this my fault. And I will not be the one to break it to them That daddy is more of child than they are Even though they are both Younger than our marriage Good thing your son doesn't take after you He is giving and kind and smarter too Tonight he offered me his stuffed animal And said I could come sleep in his bed Because I could not hide my tears Or the hurt in my eyes Any longer I just told him I had a bad day But he knows it's more than today And I'll be damned if you ever tell me I was wrong to cry in front of him Because I didn't but he heard me across the house And he offered comfort... I tried to lie and say I just had a runny nose But he didn't believe me... If you don't want me to cry in front of them... Don't be such an ***** [comments] => 2 [counter] => 182 [topic] => 75 [informant] => desireemiote [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )
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