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Array
(
[sid] => 165757
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Ridding Myself Of You
[time] => 2011-04-08 20:18:37
[hometext] => A Long One, Where Love Can Never Be
[bodytext] => You were my best feeling, the best emotion. But you was the one that filled me with commotion. You was the best thing that ever happened to me. But I can't have you all to me. You were, are a paragon of what I want. And a representation of what I want to forget. You're something I regret. I wish I wasn't like this: In love with you. All it does to me is baffle and confuse. Sometimes, I pretend I hate you. ...Because it's sore to say I love you. When I can't have you. And you never wanted me... You wanted to get rid of me... You always looked this way, their way and that way. And sideways too. You never even looked at me; you looked right through. You never even wanted me and I knew it. But I don't know how to accept it. It's a smoldering feeling inside – it burns like a fire so bright. You loved him and him too, but not me, right? I wish I didn't care anymore and I wish I was just through because I'm trying to rid myself of you. You were the greatest heartache, the greatest pill. You were the greatest killer and I was your greatest kill. I don't want to love you; it's too hard and it's making me ill. How much I want you, want you to fill an emptiness, a chanting loneliness inside me. I can't rid myself of you; get out my bloodstream. Why are you doing this to me? Can't you just let me be? Why can't I be free? Why can you see and why can't I see? I want to hold hatred for you, because I'm through. I had enough; drunk enough of this pretense than you. God, I wish you would just go, go you. Go and take all of you away too. Because you see it, don't you? I'm trying to rid myself of you. And it's hard to do that... Where you're there, smiling at me. Oh, can't you see what you do to me? You're oblivious, you're an idiot. And yet.... Why? Why, oh why? Why do I have to live this lie? I hate to tell you; I know it to be true. That's why I can't get rid of you. I want you so badly, you just don't know. I don't think you'll ever know. And I'll sit here, in this chair, looking at you with a stare. Sit there, wonder where, wondering why you're everywhere... Why you're here? You're sitting there? You smile, as you tug with your hair. And with a glance, a past glance, I'll smile. Because I can't stop, I won't stop until I'm through... When I can rid myself of you... [comments] => 3 [counter] => 160 [topic] => 22 [informant] => ElementZero [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
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