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Array ( [sid] => 165613 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Alone With One's Thoughts [time] => 2011-04-01 21:17:22 [hometext] => Attempt to put on paper what goes on in my over-analytical brain sometimes [bodytext] => In a constant state of emotional crisis,
Can't seem to find what the right path in life is,
Just want to stop, take a second and breathe,
Find one good thing, just an ounce of ease
in this depressing, sordid state I inhabit
that presents me with joy but won't let me grab it
and tortures and teases and laughs at failed effort
but leaves me alone to absorb this built-up hurt
from feeling completely empty and useless
afraid I'll keep missing what the essential truth is
to having a life without strife or estrangement,
to not have to drink to make worries seem distant,
to not have to spend every day every minute
obsessing over what my life could have been if
I did one thing different made one less mistake,
stopped being so cautious with each choice that I make,
but what can I do, I'm here, path is set
I'm stuck here reliving every single regret,
I just want a glimpse, just a taste of contentment,
no longer to stare at my life with resentment,
to no longer fear being stuck here alone
with my thoughts that spit acid on hope and corrode
the naivety that once believed great things awaited
and knew without question that one day I'd make it,
but with each passing day that passion subsides
gives less incentive to bother to try
to get out of this rut and find cause to continue
this endless search for a way to get through
this life and not have to struggle alone
to find where I fit, to find my true home. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 171 [topic] => 61 [informant] => zred7619 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

Alone With One's Thoughts

Contributed by zred7619 on Friday, 1st April 2011 @ 09:17:22 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

In a constant state of emotional crisis,
Can't seem to find what the right path in life is,
Just want to stop, take a second and breathe,
Find one good thing, just an ounce of ease
in this depressing, sordid state I inhabit
that presents me with joy but won't let me grab it
and tortures and teases and laughs at failed effort
but leaves me alone to absorb this built-up hurt
from feeling completely empty and useless
afraid I'll keep missing what the essential truth is
to having a life without strife or estrangement,
to not have to drink to make worries seem distant,
to not have to spend every day every minute
obsessing over what my life could have been if
I did one thing different made one less mistake,
stopped being so cautious with each choice that I make,
but what can I do, I'm here, path is set
I'm stuck here reliving every single regret,
I just want a glimpse, just a taste of contentment,
no longer to stare at my life with resentment,
to no longer fear being stuck here alone
with my thoughts that spit acid on hope and corrode
the naivety that once believed great things awaited
and knew without question that one day I'd make it,
but with each passing day that passion subsides
gives less incentive to bother to try
to get out of this rut and find cause to continue
this endless search for a way to get through
this life and not have to struggle alone
to find where I fit, to find my true home.

Copyright © zred7619 ... [ 2011-04-01 21:17:22]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Alone With One's Thoughts (User Rating: 1 )
by northernlights on Friday, 1st April 2011 @ 11:44:05 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Strong and candid write with which I can identify, I think the over analytical mind tends to cling on to the same things and needs something that will make it let go, two that work for me are no regrets and don't look back, it doesn't take away the struggle but it releases you from carrying all the mental burdens you put on yourself.

Re: Alone With One's Thoughts (User Rating: 1 )
by huwbeauty on Friday, 1st April 2011 @ 11:48:10 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Fantastic flowing write, full of anguish, really can feel the pain throughout.Love the line 'my thoughts that spit acid on hope and corrode'

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