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Array ( [sid] => 165540 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Thinking About Love [time] => 2011-03-29 16:32:59 [hometext] => My first poem so please give me some advice for my next ones [bodytext] => In the end I decided
That love can be good or bad
It can be happy or sad
It can leave you in a puddle
And make the world a muddle
Or it can set you free
And you can be the person you want to be
Love can torture and hurt
Love can make your heart burnt
But if it turns out alright
Then you’ve already won the fight
That so many people face each day
And will always be their to stay
But love will come
Everybody always gets some
Even though it will never last
And always seems to go so fast
It will be the best time of your life
And will take that knife
In your back that you’ve had from the last time
Your love left you for a dime
And heal all the sores
That you felt before
That wonderful day that your true love came
And made the world the same
As it felt as a child
When live was fun and wild
When life was simple
With out all the pimples
When similes were everywhere
And not the frowns the most were
Each and every day
Because of the things others say
The things others do
And things that we do sometimes too
So remember to try and make someone’s day
Not my how much we pay
But the words that come out of our mouth
And not push their life south
But instead push it north
And start the obstacle course
The we will all someday catch in our glove
The we call love [comments] => 2 [counter] => 109 [topic] => 2 [informant] => Ike [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )

Thinking About Love

Contributed by Ike on Tuesday, 29th March 2011 @ 04:32:59 PM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

In the end I decided
That love can be good or bad
It can be happy or sad
It can leave you in a puddle
And make the world a muddle
Or it can set you free
And you can be the person you want to be
Love can torture and hurt
Love can make your heart burnt
But if it turns out alright
Then you’ve already won the fight
That so many people face each day
And will always be their to stay
But love will come
Everybody always gets some
Even though it will never last
And always seems to go so fast
It will be the best time of your life
And will take that knife
In your back that you’ve had from the last time
Your love left you for a dime
And heal all the sores
That you felt before
That wonderful day that your true love came
And made the world the same
As it felt as a child
When live was fun and wild
When life was simple
With out all the pimples
When similes were everywhere
And not the frowns the most were
Each and every day
Because of the things others say
The things others do
And things that we do sometimes too
So remember to try and make someone’s day
Not my how much we pay
But the words that come out of our mouth
And not push their life south
But instead push it north
And start the obstacle course
The we will all someday catch in our glove
The we call love

Copyright Â© Ike ... [ 2011-03-29 16:32:59]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Thinking About Love (User Rating: 1 )
by StacyLynnG on Tuesday, 29th March 2011 @ 04:59:41 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Hey really good job for your first poem, and I think you can really develop and tone your skills and make something truly wonderful. I will say its nice to rhyme but you dont want to let the rhyme take over what your are trying to portray. I love rhymes personally, but if it doesnt sound right to you try to phrase it another way and find a rhyme that works more with the poem. But overall great job on your first poem

Re: Thinking About Love (User Rating: 1 )
by Shandra on Wednesday, 30th March 2011 @ 12:37:18 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Nice. Just take your time and follow your heart. No one knows what's within you, until you unleash it. Good job, and good luck!!!

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