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Array
(
[sid] => 164962
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Life
[time] => 2011-02-24 16:19:41
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => You taught me, you taught me everything I know about living. The memory of you has been imprinted into my heart, I thought love was blind. Love can clearly see what it wants, it wasn't me. My heart has been medicated. These pills numb my heart. This weed helps my breathing, these drugs help me live. This alcohol bottle filled with my sorrows, only to be forgotten by blind fury. I write, I've written a dozen poems about you, hoping that one day you would jump off of a page, But that won't work. It won't work because my mind doesn't remember how you feel, And you don't need to remember how i feel. The windows were rattling, lights were flickering. Cities being torn down by the quakes, the shutters were breaking. The house was bending, when the storm came. My mind was weary, my sight was blurry. The window of my mind shut, but wanted to be open. Heart began shaking from the inside out. Spirit was breaking when the storm came. I was sitting outside, being thrown around by the wind. Lifted at my feet but smiling. Not because I felt joy,not nervous, but the thought of the storm excited me. One day i woke up in an unfamiliar bedroom, in a town I had never been to, with someone I had never seen. He is so confused, but so am I. He knows my name, he is the exact opposite of me. He loves his family,his school,friends, and I envy him. he never seems anxious and is independent. He has a mother and a father that love him, man what a life. I fell in a cold sweat, I fall into my own stomach. A deep dark abyss and I am going to hit the floor. I scream, my eyes open and I am laying in bed, it was me in my dream. The life that i long for. As a child i dreamt, I dreamt everything in different colors. Some nights white and some nights black. My mother always told me, "Its just a phase, it'll be fine." I was 7. As a child it was hard making friends. Everyone knew my name and we played, but i would never consider them my friends. I fell through ice one day and watched myself down, I really didn't mind, at least it was peaceful. As i grew up, I begun to change. More than I could ever imagine went wrong. The woman i love most, my own mother, I'd bash her with hurtful words and make her feel useless. I didn't deserve to live. For if i could do that to the person i love most, what is wrong with me? Why am I so useless? I pictured my life flash before my eyes, I woke up from this dream. But as a child,as a child she was; My best friend, my mother, and father. But our hearts bond, these hands holding connects my blood with yours, and once i let go; I can't live. I seek beauty and you offer it to me [comments] => 1 [counter] => 232 [topic] => 14 [informant] => Lalo [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DreamsandWishes )
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