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Array
(
[sid] => 164012
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => A half of my heart
[time] => 2010-12-30 20:43:32
[hometext] => always, abraham
[bodytext] => Old friend, I am alone— I am alone, but I do not miss you. I do not even know how to miss you. I am sorry that I cannot write the depth of my feelings for you with the grace and the regality that you deserve, but I am tired, friend, and my hands can no longer breach the beating of my heart. It has been so long that I have looked upon you, so long that I have spoken with you. I cannot remember the last words that we shared, or if we had shared any at all. Only that I left, that I walked my own path. Along that path, friend, I have forgotten love. My heart has mended, grown calloused and hard, inalienable, full of bitter laughter. Perhaps it has always been bitter. Perhaps it was your heart and your love that wove into mine, and allowed me to know what I cannot know now. My heart says we were foolish—just foolish children—with no thoughts of future, no thoughts of what we would become. I have become nothing more then a sad and miserable man, writing the last piece of love away for a friend that I have not seen for almost ten years. Ten years—it is almost nothing in the vast façade of my life, nothing compared to the many years before me. I have not wondered for you in a long time, but tonight I wonder. Have you grown to be the kingly man your father would have you be? Have you stripped away your madness, have you gone to work again? Have you finally met the right woman? Have you married? Do you struggle in weary silence at the screams of a snot nosed brat, too fearful to raise your voice that you might wound its spirit? Do you remember me? If I could, I would erase you from my memory. Burn you out. Burn all of my past away. How often I have fought with you in my dreams, how often the words unsaid were spoken in the freedom of sleep. I think I will not write upon you again friend, the flesh of your spirit too far now for my hands to cast. The words grow stale, and their strength wanes upon this page. I hope wherever you are, you are loved. As for my heart, you are not missed, but you are not forgotten. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 220 [topic] => 48 [informant] => iodinelove [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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