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Array ( [sid] => 163994 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Atone Alone [time] => 2010-12-29 23:05:57 [hometext] => turmoil... [bodytext] => Take me now without detain,
Ease my suffering and pain.
I’ve lost my heart down in the drain,
And now it feels I’ve gone insane.

When did I become so low?
It seems I am my greatest foe.
I know I reap the seeds I sew,
But this is some tormenting woe.

I’m waiting for the end of days,
I feel so torn from my dismays.
Most memories are but a haze,
But still I remember your beautiful gaze.

The wrongs I’ve done has left me cold,
The devilry in the world has taken me hold.
Affliction this awful could not be foretold,
In this life without you my good won’t unfold.

I’ve lost the way; I’ve lost my soul,
I’ve relinquished all my self-control.
And for my blunder I pay the toll,
My life is but an empty hole.

I hate to feel one’s sympathy,
It has the incentive of inequity.
I just need to atone before it’s too late,
And I am passed judgement at St. Peter’s gate.
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 181 [topic] => 75 [informant] => Jonathon_J_Young [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )

Atone Alone

Contributed by Jonathon_J_Young on Wednesday, 29th December 2010 @ 11:05:57 PM in AEST
Topic: anguished

Take me now without detain,
Ease my suffering and pain.
I’ve lost my heart down in the drain,
And now it feels I’ve gone insane.

When did I become so low?
It seems I am my greatest foe.
I know I reap the seeds I sew,
But this is some tormenting woe.

I’m waiting for the end of days,
I feel so torn from my dismays.
Most memories are but a haze,
But still I remember your beautiful gaze.

The wrongs I’ve done has left me cold,
The devilry in the world has taken me hold.
Affliction this awful could not be foretold,
In this life without you my good won’t unfold.

I’ve lost the way; I’ve lost my soul,
I’ve relinquished all my self-control.
And for my blunder I pay the toll,
My life is but an empty hole.

I hate to feel one’s sympathy,
It has the incentive of inequity.
I just need to atone before it’s too late,
And I am passed judgement at St. Peter’s gate.

Copyright Â© Jonathon_J_Young ... [ 2010-12-29 23:05:57]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Atone Alone (User Rating: 1 )
by UNORTHODOX on Thursday, 30th December 2010 @ 03:41:07 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

What's striking about yhis piece
is the desire to atone for what ever
wrong committed is truely sincere
while reading this passage anyone of us
could have written it
for to be human is to be common
as we can all relate,to the void conveyed here
well written

-UNORTHODOX

Re: Atone Alone (User Rating: 1 )
by Balmain_Tiger on Thursday, 30th December 2010 @ 02:13:22 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Through life and at every stage when we blunder, atonement is all we have to set our path right again.

you have expressed this in a very clear tone

Re: Atone Alone (User Rating: 1 )
by Aspirant on Friday, 31st December 2010 @ 12:28:47 AM AEST
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Your title... bothers me. To me, what you've described here is how one ends up feeling when one tries to do everything alone. Such pride will ultimately cave in the face of human weakness, the need for love and the help of others. The idea that personal atonement is the answer seems wrong to me, even to the point of dishonesty, where the person in question is afraid to admit their need for help and stubbornly holds to the belief in their own strength. The stronger and more stubborn one is, the more painful it becomes before one inevitably comes to accept weakness.

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