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Array ( [sid] => 163823 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => creature in the bottle [time] => 2010-12-20 17:12:05 [hometext] => [bodytext] => On a city street, maybe not far from where you live
Is a creature in a bottle that was never gonna give.
The creature in the bottle is neither big nor small,
and some would even question if the creature has a soul?

The creature in the bottle was made to entertain,
as the rush of tiny bubbles make a route toward the brain.
But this creature in the bottle had been cruelly cast aside
as the host on which it mingled had been taken for a ride.

The host released the bottle with a venom that was cruel,
as a lack of verbal power meant he'd failed to state the rules.
The victim of this outburst fell and crashed down to the floor.
Without the conscious thought there,.. say to lay a hand before.

The crunching thump of skull broke like an egg boiled and then thrown.
the victim lay in oily blackness bubbling. No groan.
the creature in the bottle rolled around and lay to rest,
as the splattered host picked up his coat and dabbed it on his chest.

The street light shone upon them spotting horror and regret
as the creature in the bottle in the snow would start to set.
The host breathed heavy. Staggered, in the fog of his own dread.
He didn't have to look to know the victim lay there dead.

Beware the creature in the bottle, as it brings hope as well as pain,
it can comfort those in peril or those waiting for a train.
It can mark a great occasion and can cause a right good laugh!
but in an unseen moment raise the gates of hell in wrath.
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 136 [topic] => 13 [informant] => poeticjestix [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
creature in the bottle

Contributed by poeticjestix on Monday, 20th December 2010 @ 05:12:05 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



On a city street, maybe not far from where you live
Is a creature in a bottle that was never gonna give.
The creature in the bottle is neither big nor small,
and some would even question if the creature has a soul?

The creature in the bottle was made to entertain,
as the rush of tiny bubbles make a route toward the brain.
But this creature in the bottle had been cruelly cast aside
as the host on which it mingled had been taken for a ride.

The host released the bottle with a venom that was cruel,
as a lack of verbal power meant he'd failed to state the rules.
The victim of this outburst fell and crashed down to the floor.
Without the conscious thought there,.. say to lay a hand before.

The crunching thump of skull broke like an egg boiled and then thrown.
the victim lay in oily blackness bubbling. No groan.
the creature in the bottle rolled around and lay to rest,
as the splattered host picked up his coat and dabbed it on his chest.

The street light shone upon them spotting horror and regret
as the creature in the bottle in the snow would start to set.
The host breathed heavy. Staggered, in the fog of his own dread.
He didn't have to look to know the victim lay there dead.

Beware the creature in the bottle, as it brings hope as well as pain,
it can comfort those in peril or those waiting for a train.
It can mark a great occasion and can cause a right good laugh!
but in an unseen moment raise the gates of hell in wrath.




Copyright © poeticjestix ... [ 2010-12-20 17:12:05]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: creature in the bottle (User Rating: 1 )
by Voyager on Tuesday, 21st December 2010 @ 07:53:18 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I like the effort made to metaphorically reference alcohol as the creature in the bottle, if i'm not mistaken...nicely done.


Re: creature in the bottle (User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on Wednesday, 22nd December 2010 @ 01:52:20 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Its a good story with a good point, but for some reason i couldn't help but sing it like a drinking song inside my head, or a folk song rather, but either way you get the point.




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