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Array ( [sid] => 163313 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => my true feelings [time] => 2010-11-18 17:02:24 [hometext] => [bodytext] => my true feelings

as i sit here pondering my thoughts of all the innocence i have stolen,
the minds i have broken,
the lives i have destroyed,
the souls i have devoured with the inferno of my heart,
I think to myself,
Why,
Why do i i do this,
Why do i choose to hurt people,
Why do i destroy everything in my unholy path

Every day i look for an answer from strangers
I search the earth but find no answers
i travel deep into others minds
but not my own

My heart is golden to the untrained eye
but if you look closely you will find the unthinkable
you will find a malicious disease
a malformed hatred growing slowly
this disease has an aura
this aura effects anyone around me
crushing their soul and devouring it

I dream of a cure for my illness
i know it will never come
Now i think only of myself
i no longer care for the civilians
i let them die inside
for now i believe that caring is for the weak
and loving is for pure

you have now heard the story of my life
you are pure
you should stay pure and be happy
i will never be happy
don't let me depress you
Care for yourself first.

Alfie Holland. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 202 [topic] => 48 [informant] => AlfieHolland [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 25 [ratings] => 6 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )

my true feelings

Contributed by AlfieHolland on Thursday, 18th November 2010 @ 05:02:24 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

my true feelings

as i sit here pondering my thoughts of all the innocence i have stolen,
the minds i have broken,
the lives i have destroyed,
the souls i have devoured with the inferno of my heart,
I think to myself,
Why,
Why do i i do this,
Why do i choose to hurt people,
Why do i destroy everything in my unholy path

Every day i look for an answer from strangers
I search the earth but find no answers
i travel deep into others minds
but not my own

My heart is golden to the untrained eye
but if you look closely you will find the unthinkable
you will find a malicious disease
a malformed hatred growing slowly
this disease has an aura
this aura effects anyone around me
crushing their soul and devouring it

I dream of a cure for my illness
i know it will never come
Now i think only of myself
i no longer care for the civilians
i let them die inside
for now i believe that caring is for the weak
and loving is for pure

you have now heard the story of my life
you are pure
you should stay pure and be happy
i will never be happy
don't let me depress you
Care for yourself first.

Alfie Holland.

Copyright © AlfieHolland ... [ 2010-11-18 17:02:24]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: my true feelings (User Rating: 1 )
by resist77 on Thursday, 18th November 2010 @ 05:43:28 PM AEST
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A very tortured soul exists within this poem. I hope this character is fictional and does not truly dwell within yourself though I can very much relate to this sort of disease. I, myself, have laid waste to others feelings and have driven many people away.

Re: my true feelings (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Thursday, 18th November 2010 @ 07:37:59 PM AEST
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Welcome to YPDC.
No one is pure. We're born into an impure world.Sounds to me you have more hatred for yourself than any thing else. Very sad writing but there's always hope as long as there's breathe in the body.
Blessings,
emy

Re: my true feelings (User Rating: 1 )
by duff on Friday, 19th November 2010 @ 06:05:04 AM AEST
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What a gripping write that gives you a clue to the inner circle of someones mind and what they are experiencing. Brutally honest, raw and outstanding. Thanks for sharing.

Re: my true feelings (User Rating: 1 )
by deusdeira on Friday, 19th November 2010 @ 10:57:20 PM AEST
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Good and Evil... is it biological, environmental, social, spiritual?

All we know is who we are, and sometimes... it is very hard to be good. Try to change, and try to find happiness. It is never too late.

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