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Array
(
[sid] => 162364
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => You own my tears
[time] => 2010-09-18 17:22:31
[hometext] => This is a story of my first love and first heart break. Even years later this poem caused me to cry again. I'm still not over her. To S, Love D.
[bodytext] => Hindsight can now explain the pain that foresight could have prevented. Hindsight is clinical, it’s 20-20, it helps me to see that my love for you blurred my foresight. Pain was inevitable, had I have known this - would I have walked away before you did? It was me who found you and so I really only have myself to blame for all this. It was me who fell in love with you, not you with me – so why is my anger directed at you. Had I have known my choices and decisions would cause such pain would I be brave enough to change them before it was too late? I can see now it was me who put distance between us I can see now I had a part to play in this break up I can see now you deserved better from me I can see now all the wrongs I didn’t get to right I can see now just how much I loved you In a room full of people I could only see you People dancing - some kissing, music playing - lights flashing but only one thing grasps my attention Numbers, invites, smiles, drinks are plentiful but all I want is your name The place – frantic, my mind – still In this room full of people I want you to see only me What happened next, I’m still too raw to explore What resulted, I can’t understand Hindsight tries to explain My heart won’t listen Had I have known I would never get to look into your blue, blue eyes again I would have held your last gaze a little longer Had I have known I would never get to hold your hand again I would have held on a little tighter Had I have known I would never get to hug you again I would have pulled you much closer Had I have known I would never get to kiss you again I would have let your last linger longer Had I have know I would never see your smile again I would have locked your last in my mind forever Had I have known the dreams I had for us would never happen I would never want to wake up again My love for you blurred my foresight but my insight sounds alarms that this love is dead The panic felt when an embrace is rejected The choking feeling when a kiss is missing The searing desperation of avoided eye contact Inside I scream “I love you” but everything about you states “I just don’t care” The realisation that I have caused any love you had for me to die – kills me You don’t give me a reason, you say you still love me but you just walk away I never see you again I try to get your attention. Fail. I want you to hurt like I do. Pointless, Now – I’ll definitely never see you again. They say “No one is worth your tears” You are worth every one of them They say “Time is a healer” Time stood still when you walked away I need to move on or so she says Someone else gets to see you smile, gets to wake up with you and gets to feel your touch It’s time for me to bury this, I need to forget you exist; this love is dead and gone I can see now that you never loved me I can see now by the way discarded me without explanation that I meant very little to you I can see now this had heart break, my heart break, written all over it from day one I can see now – a million things I would do different but won’t get the chance to I can see now that I am as much to blame for this as I think you are I can see now You used to ask me what I am thinking – if you would only ask again, I would answer: I love you, I probably always will I want you to be happy and that every one of your dreams comes true I’m sorry for any pain I caused, I would take it back if I could You were my first love, no one will ever be my first love again Even if I try to – I will never forget you Maybe one day my heart will not sink when I hear your name Maybe one day my eyes will not water when I hear your voice Maybe one day I will find another you Maybe one day I’ll think of you and smile But until that day you own my tears. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 306 [topic] => 2 [informant] => Twink [notes] => Please leave at least three comments for every poem you post. Thank-you. ~ Moderator_18 Sep 19, 2010 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )
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