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Array ( [sid] => 161589 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The Stupidity of Me [time] => 2010-08-03 10:54:44 [hometext] => I am stuck in a state of ambivalence from which I will not return. [bodytext] => The stupidity of me,
to feel the things I feel.
The insincerity of you,
to make it seem like I can't heal.
NO, I WILL NOT HEAL!

Oh, the uncertainty of me,
that life may tear me down once more.
And I only wish to hurt myself,
to end this so-called "life."

The duplicity of me,
to think these thoughts without intention.
I do not live the life that I portray,
I live a lie.
NO, I DO NOT WANT TO DIE!

Oh, this isolated me,
that I may one day see again,
the light of the sun; the dim glow of the moon,
illuminates the path I walk.

The insanity of me,
that chains me to this fence.
Without direction,
I cannot move any which way.
NO, I WILL NOT MOVE! [comments] => 5 [counter] => 236 [topic] => 61 [informant] => allforyou [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

The Stupidity of Me

Contributed by allforyou on Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 10:54:44 AM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

The stupidity of me,
to feel the things I feel.
The insincerity of you,
to make it seem like I can't heal.
NO, I WILL NOT HEAL!

Oh, the uncertainty of me,
that life may tear me down once more.
And I only wish to hurt myself,
to end this so-called "life."

The duplicity of me,
to think these thoughts without intention.
I do not live the life that I portray,
I live a lie.
NO, I DO NOT WANT TO DIE!

Oh, this isolated me,
that I may one day see again,
the light of the sun; the dim glow of the moon,
illuminates the path I walk.

The insanity of me,
that chains me to this fence.
Without direction,
I cannot move any which way.
NO, I WILL NOT MOVE!

Copyright © allforyou ... [ 2010-08-03 10:54:44]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The Stupidity of Me (User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 11:18:05 AM AEST
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The hardest move to make is moving forward. The ease of stress and responsibility when we stop fighting the tide can lure us in, but with change comes true strength. I like how you seem to be fighting with yourself here. Seemingly waving a white flag at times, yet fierce determination keeps shining through. Well done.

Re: The Stupidity of Me (User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 11:39:27 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

oh my
you seem to be stuck in the same
twi light outer limits zone
that I exsist in.....

Re: The Stupidity of Me (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 01:12:23 PM AEST
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Sounds like a huge battle between the heart and mind.
Good work.
Hang tuff.
huggs, blessings,
emy

Re: The Stupidity of Me (User Rating: 1 )
by fuzzler on Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 11:01:04 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Great, i felt it, i too am stuck in a similar state.

Re: The Stupidity of Me (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 6th August 2010 @ 07:09:49 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

You seem to be describing the last year of my life with this one. I could especially empathize with this bit:

'The duplicity of me,
to think these thoughts without intention.
I do not live the life that I portray,
I live a lie.
NO, I DO NOT WANT TO DIE!'

I would say that I do not enjoy life, but I don't want to die either. Death means there's no chance of happiness EVER AGAIN. At least with life, there's the hope of a spontaneous arrival of happiness.

-Phil

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