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Array ( [sid] => 161577 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Journal: Freewrite [time] => 2010-08-02 23:35:52 [hometext] => One cold day a couple years ago my English teacher asked me to write whatever I could think of. This is what I came up with: [bodytext] => It falls
A frozen glory
From a cold and lifeless sky
A cloud covers the dirty
In a blanket of mock
Serenity
Lightly falls like hellfire
Frozen flame stings like a windwhip
Hovers above us
Amongst us, with pride
Settles, this pure
Sin, little white lies
This worshipped pain
In my neck
I believe they call it -
"Snow". [comments] => 4 [counter] => 143 [topic] => 73 [informant] => NovemberMayhem [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => abstract )
Journal: Freewrite

Contributed by NovemberMayhem on Monday, 2nd August 2010 @ 11:35:52 PM in AEST
Topic: abstract



It falls
A frozen glory
From a cold and lifeless sky
A cloud covers the dirty
In a blanket of mock
Serenity
Lightly falls like hellfire
Frozen flame stings like a windwhip
Hovers above us
Amongst us, with pride
Settles, this pure
Sin, little white lies
This worshipped pain
In my neck
I believe they call it -
"Snow".




Copyright © NovemberMayhem ... [ 2010-08-02 23:35:52]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Journal: Freewrite (User Rating: 1 )
by xXInkInMyVeinsXx on Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 07:03:47 AM AEST
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Great poem :) There are some really good images in it.


Re: Journal: Freewrite (User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 11:24:49 AM AEST
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Great layout here, it contributes to the pace of the poem. The ending was a pleasant surprise as you could've been speaking about someone's tough exterior or struggles against authority. I like the fact I was kept guessing until the end.


Re: Journal: Freewrite (User Rating: 1 )
by allforyou on Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 11:38:18 AM AEST
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This is great. I love the opening lines.

-Kara


Re: Journal: Freewrite (User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on Tuesday, 3rd August 2010 @ 11:45:36 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Excellent




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