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This Demon

Contributed by Selene on Thursday, 17th June 2010 @ 04:56:43 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



The Darkest Thought From Our Mind Comes From This Demon That Dwells
This Demon Latches On To Reality And Turns Life Into Twisted Dimensions
As Light Becomes Night, We Fall Into These Dark Empty Spaces
Because Of This Demon, We Will All Suffer The Pain Of Darkness
This Demons Consequences Has Become Our Reality
Evil Wroughts In Our Quarters
The Earth Crumbles Beneath Us, As We Plead Forgiveness To The Evil That Controls Us
The Sun Is Blackened And The Sea Is Reddened
All Living Life Crumples And Dies
Our Remnants Turn To Ash, And Is Swept Away By The Tormenting Wind
The Demons Eyes Shine Through The Dark, Of Whats Left Of Earth



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Copyright © Selene ... [ 2010-06-17 16:56:43]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: This Demon (User Rating: 1 )
by Live2Die on Friday, 18th June 2010 @ 12:51:47 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Your personal demons and anguish come across well here.

I think, however, that capitalizing every letter takes something away from the impact of the poem. It reads a little bit more like a teenager in angst than a creditable poem.

But,of course, keep writing, =).




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