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This Demon
Contributed by
Selene
on
Thursday, 17th June 2010 @ 04:56:43 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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The Darkest Thought From Our Mind Comes From This Demon That Dwells
This Demon Latches On To Reality And Turns Life Into Twisted Dimensions
As Light Becomes Night, We Fall Into These Dark Empty Spaces
Because Of This Demon, We Will All Suffer The Pain Of Darkness
This Demons Consequences Has Become Our Reality
Evil Wroughts In Our Quarters
The Earth Crumbles Beneath Us, As We Plead Forgiveness To The Evil That Controls Us
The Sun Is Blackened And The Sea Is Reddened
All Living Life Crumples And Dies
Our Remnants Turn To Ash, And Is Swept Away By The Tormenting Wind
The Demons Eyes Shine Through The Dark, Of Whats Left Of Earth
Selene, PLEASE: To help keep this site INTERACTIVE, please read and comment on at least 3 poems for each one you submit.
Number of poems per author per 24 hours are limited depending on membership level and interactivity.
Copyright ©
Selene
... [
2010-06-17 16:56:43] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: This Demon
(User Rating: 1 ) by Live2Die on
Friday, 18th June 2010 @ 12:51:47 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Your personal demons and anguish come across well here.
I think, however, that capitalizing every letter takes something away from the impact of the poem. It reads a little bit more like a teenager in angst than a creditable poem.
But,of course, keep writing, =). |
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