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Array
(
[sid] => 160555
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Numb
[time] => 2010-06-12 00:55:18
[hometext] => In short, this poem is about the mixture of emotions that ran through my mind as a young teenager till now, after my mother committed suicide when i when 10 years old.
My father was in depression, my house was very quiet and lonely.
The 6th verse is about many different women that my father had met ( whom I thought were very artificial ), after which it seemed to me as though his interest towards me and our relationship had totally diminished.
It is also about my ex-step mother who physically and mentally hurt me.
[bodytext] => Who wants to be a part of my house?, It would be lovely to have company besides for a mouse. Just follow these rules, and you'll be just fine, Listen to me, you won't have to pay a dime. Stay here for a while and then you will see, The thoughts that run inside of me, Are not just assumptions, nor do they just arrive, They come years after years of not feeling alive. No conversations here, day or night, You'll be happy if someone even greets you right, And every said word and every done task, Done for pure gain or guilt, but don't you dare ask. You're looked down upon if you think differently, Arms held open to you if you can "act" socially, Or with glee, or smile, or if fake or feign, Only if ill, attention you will gain. Lunch and dinner, I have all alone, Sometimes you'll get a meal, sometimes you won't, And all of this negative energy, sucks the life out of me, So you're need of dependency will be. But don't be upset you'll be glad to know, I've spent ten years of my life or so, Staring at the walls and pictures, memorizing pointless stuff, And talking to useless women,who's names I've never heard of. Repress queries of your past automatically, Don't dare bring it up even sporadically, Talk about angels and rainbows and bliss and the sun, But never of what brought you in this situation. Practice my friend,living in a small space, Unpredictable situations you may have to face, Locked up, hit, choked ,and neglected, Cheated, lied to , ignored and rejected. You'll never be good enough, so don't even try, Let the energy burning inside of you die, Noone will care, noone will be proud, Using you're intelligence will not be allowed. You'll always be a burden, Always a pain, Learn being lethargic, You'll have a secondary gain. Be ready to cry atleast twice a day, And yet not believed in any way, Unless you prove that you're just not okay. Like if you lock your room, or sleep all day, And then atlast take your life away. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 206 [topic] => 48 [informant] => teal0star0aurora [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 77 [ratings] => 18 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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