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Array
(
[sid] => 160162
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Broken Doll
[time] => 2010-05-26 19:36:01
[hometext] => I had a lot of emotions bottled up after my parent's divorce and it messed me up. A lot. So I started to write. This is the poem I wrote as kind-of a confession of the heartache my mom put me through.
[bodytext] => My heart sat inside a pretty pink doll until she was ready to play with me. She took her time. There was never enough for me. I craved her attention. I cried out for love. I ached for something... I didn't know what. When she wasn't too busy she changed my clothes. She changed my face. She changed the way I wanted to be. In years passing she stuck me in a box of junk and threw me in a corner. She opened the box later to find... That I was never what she wanted. So she changed me again. Altered my style. Changed my life. Broke my world. I wasn't sure why, but I needed her acceptance. I cried out for her love. I screamed, "Mom, can't you love me for me? For the person I'm trying so desperately to be?" But she's deaf and she's blind to the world. Oblivious to anyone who's not in her mirror. One day it all collapsed. My shelter was gone. She'd been spiraling and spiraling out of control. She threw me against walls, She beat me down... Until I could drown. Drown in the tears I was crying. Crying from craving. Craving her love. Her acceptance. Broken on the floor, My arm's across the room. My head's beaten in. This would leave a scar, But she'll hide it. She'll alter me again. I need help escaping from this plastic shell. I need help to finally become something useful. Something real. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 215 [topic] => 23 [informant] => soselfxconscious [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => FamilyPoems )
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