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Array ( [sid] => 158845 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Drowned [time] => 2010-04-11 20:50:12 [hometext] => touchy subject, but words that need saying [bodytext] => I drowned
In a shallow pool of water
Because I tried hard enough

But some stealer of dreams
Stole me out from my fantasy
And pounded my heart alive

A humid hatred all the way home
As father checked his watch,
How much time he’d wasted
Pretending to care
For someone already drowned

Because I had died
Before I even tried,
He held my head under

Mom, I could’ve sworn
You were there then,
Quietly and by my side,
Watching as you always do;
You’re the angel of do-nothing
Sinning with your eyes
How can you just watch?

I ripped out my beating organs
For you to see I’m human
But I was too ugly
For you to look

Guilt on your eyelids
Of course you can sleep soundly,
Shame in your subtext
In your eyes of false pity

Your care goes as far as
Keeping the sharp objects away,
But can you hear the knives you sharpen
When you open that screaming monster
And drown me in your words? [comments] => 4 [counter] => 190 [topic] => 36 [informant] => Chamaron [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 29 [ratings] => 6 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
Drowned

Contributed by Chamaron on Sunday, 11th April 2010 @ 08:50:12 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide



I drowned
In a shallow pool of water
Because I tried hard enough

But some stealer of dreams
Stole me out from my fantasy
And pounded my heart alive

A humid hatred all the way home
As father checked his watch,
How much time he’d wasted
Pretending to care
For someone already drowned

Because I had died
Before I even tried,
He held my head under

Mom, I could’ve sworn
You were there then,
Quietly and by my side,
Watching as you always do;
You’re the angel of do-nothing
Sinning with your eyes
How can you just watch?

I ripped out my beating organs
For you to see I’m human
But I was too ugly
For you to look

Guilt on your eyelids
Of course you can sleep soundly,
Shame in your subtext
In your eyes of false pity

Your care goes as far as
Keeping the sharp objects away,
But can you hear the knives you sharpen
When you open that screaming monster
And drown me in your words?



Copyright © Chamaron ... [ 2010-04-11 20:50:12]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Drowned (User Rating: 1 )
by aliopterix on Sunday, 11th April 2010 @ 10:31:03 PM AEST
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Very dark and intensely moving. As usual you never fail to impress me with your metaphors and allegories. Be well, a great read. Aliopterix.


Re: Drowned (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Sunday, 11th April 2010 @ 10:46:25 PM AEST
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Wow, this is so sad but as you said it needs to be said. It's so hard for me to comprehend that parents do this to their children but they do,
there's just too much injustice in our world.
It's really sad when a person for doing things to there children and in investigation turns everything around and blame the truth as personal attack on the one that's abusing the child and side with him.
Now I truly understand why people never report the crime. It's just pathetic that the investigators can't see thru the lies etc.
Oh well don't get me started.
Awesome writing.
huggs, blessings,
emy


Re: Drowned (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 12th April 2010 @ 06:58:45 AM AEST
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C, this is so unnerving to read. Not just because it is a painful memory, but it opens ancient wounds I had forgotten. Your words are so emotive and impressive and you have enormous skill when it comes to exacting the perfect emotion. The last stanza nearly did me in, but the piece as a whole is damn affecting. We think that writing this out will alleviate some of the pain suffered throughout the years of holding back, and yet, somehow, it lingers.... (I hope this was more cathartic for you) Take care, my friend.



Seléne ~




Re: Drowned (User Rating: 1 )
by elle on Monday, 12th April 2010 @ 08:06:06 PM AEST
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These words of yours, these are words that will cause me to search out & identify my psychosis. . . endure the phthisis of my inherent manifestations. . . glean what I can from My past so that I don't have the debilitating effects on my child & her children that were so unknowingly placed upon me. Bless each of us in our own struggles to become & exist, to life & to learn how to love & nourish one another. It's really all we ultimately ever have. Peace be onto you. elle




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