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Array ( [sid] => 158765 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Surely We Could [time] => 2010-04-08 19:18:33 [hometext] => Teetering upon a mountain of temptation... [bodytext] => A stiff blur
A sneak across
Surely we could

Foreigner in camp
Just sleeping
Battle lines are for daytime

A run into,
An accident on purpose
I know what you want

I want the brink
A line so thin
Only Will can see it
And even Will is fooled

A tripping trap
A tease to seize
Is the magic
Only in the spell?

Blind to black and white is Foresee
Unhearing to reprimand
Anosmic to sweaty guilt
So free of fault
Is present

A mother told
The views I hold
But mother was not mine

A morality to weather season
To set aright interhuman crime
Bends now, branches in your wind
Surely we could

But if morality held constant
For all except you - You can hold me
But, dear sir, are you constant? [comments] => 4 [counter] => 209 [topic] => 2 [informant] => Chamaron [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )

Surely We Could

Contributed by Chamaron on Thursday, 8th April 2010 @ 07:18:33 PM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

A stiff blur
A sneak across
Surely we could

Foreigner in camp
Just sleeping
Battle lines are for daytime

A run into,
An accident on purpose
I know what you want

I want the brink
A line so thin
Only Will can see it
And even Will is fooled

A tripping trap
A tease to seize
Is the magic
Only in the spell?

Blind to black and white is Foresee
Unhearing to reprimand
Anosmic to sweaty guilt
So free of fault
Is present

A mother told
The views I hold
But mother was not mine

A morality to weather season
To set aright interhuman crime
Bends now, branches in your wind
Surely we could

But if morality held constant
For all except you - You can hold me
But, dear sir, are you constant?

Copyright Â© Chamaron ... [ 2010-04-08 19:18:33]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Surely We Could (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 8th April 2010 @ 07:43:26 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is an amazing write full of character and wisdom. Each line consisting of thought and stunning imagery.

A morality to weather season
To set aright interhuman crime
Bends now, branches in your wind
Surely we could

Those lines ooze power my friend. Terrific write

take care
duff

Re: Surely We Could (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 8th April 2010 @ 08:14:53 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

oh my. This feels like a forbidden fruit. Sooooo tempting, but do we dare taste it? This is such a delicious write, filled with sizzling innuendos and intimations. And what brilliant wordsmithing you've employed to reinforce that. phew! Great post!!

Seléne ~

Re: Surely We Could (User Rating: 1 )
by Loende on Friday, 9th April 2010 @ 05:27:27 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Ok, first off, this was fantastic! It just
sucked me in right from the beginning
and even now, I'm smiling.

My favorite stanzas:

"I want the brink
A line so thin
Only Will can see it
And even Will is fooled

A tripping trap
A tease to seize
Is the magic
Only in the spell?"

And I'm not sure if it's just the brilliance
of the imagery and choice of words, or
because I can relate to them so much.
Either way, this was just a delight to read.

Be well,
~Loende

Re: Surely We Could (User Rating: 1 )
by aliopterix on Saturday, 10th April 2010 @ 05:01:29 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This was not just an exquisite read I also love the way you change the verse patterns to speed up and slow down the delivery of the piece. Well done and thank you. Aliopterix.

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