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Array ( [sid] => 158646 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => taken back [time] => 2010-04-04 00:19:59 [hometext] => [bodytext] => suspicious of that day
the day that we simply let go. . .
& waded into the dank nothingness
that wrapped itself, copious, about our necks &
down the throats. . . a superlious gag
a garrote-like jewel of upheaval
a contemptuous snare. . .
the helpless flailing
fearlessly sinking
& in that sinking, upset
submersed
within the tightening
of jaw
of mind
of eyes wide shut. . .

that is. . .
the way of mistakes
deception that reels tempest
in torment on the tender precipise
of lips. . .
trembling. . . sweetly
yours. . . mine. . .
we both indulged
spinning. . . meaningless. . . 'til spent. . .

to desperate dross
of falsehood, our non-realities gapping
forth a crystalline creature
whose every facet loomed
a ghastly maw of servitude
& into the stillness
that still, merciless necessity. . .
tumultuous thoughts
tumble
until you become a peeling off
in that most hidden of realms, forgotten
in the womb of my attrition

barren. . .

strained. . .

I feel the strain creeping
the pain splitting into shivers. . .
the chill that violates
even to the weary depths & layerings of your heart
is nothing more than the ancient shudder
of my disbelief. . .
the pain seeping into
a wretched decedant, the faint semblance of love
forsaken in the gloaming
disembodied. . .
a silent scream [comments] => 5 [counter] => 270 [topic] => 13 [informant] => elle [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 20 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

taken back

Contributed by elle on Sunday, 4th April 2010 @ 12:19:59 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

suspicious of that day
the day that we simply let go. . .
& waded into the dank nothingness
that wrapped itself, copious, about our necks &
down the throats. . . a superlious gag
a garrote-like jewel of upheaval
a contemptuous snare. . .
the helpless flailing
fearlessly sinking
& in that sinking, upset
submersed
within the tightening
of jaw
of mind
of eyes wide shut. . .

that is. . .
the way of mistakes
deception that reels tempest
in torment on the tender precipise
of lips. . .
trembling. . . sweetly
yours. . . mine. . .
we both indulged
spinning. . . meaningless. . . 'til spent. . .

to desperate dross
of falsehood, our non-realities gapping
forth a crystalline creature
whose every facet loomed
a ghastly maw of servitude
& into the stillness
that still, merciless necessity. . .
tumultuous thoughts
tumble
until you become a peeling off
in that most hidden of realms, forgotten
in the womb of my attrition

barren. . .

strained. . .

I feel the strain creeping
the pain splitting into shivers. . .
the chill that violates
even to the weary depths & layerings of your heart
is nothing more than the ancient shudder
of my disbelief. . .
the pain seeping into
a wretched decedant, the faint semblance of love
forsaken in the gloaming
disembodied. . .
a silent scream

Copyright Â© elle ... [ 2010-04-04 00:19:59]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: taken back (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 4th April 2010 @ 08:34:36 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

A very gripping write elle that has layers upon layers of wonderful imagery for the reader to soak up and marvel at. Dark in depth this is chilling to read but a joy as well. great write

take care
duff

Re: taken back (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 4th April 2010 @ 09:17:49 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

elle, I am speechless. This is so perfectly descriptive. You have an incredible skill for
explaining emotion with your words. I felt each one sear through me with every line.

This. Is. Remarkable.

And so unmistakably poetic. Excellent post, my friend.

Seléne ~

Re: taken back (User Rating: 1 )
by lesoleilnoire on Sunday, 4th April 2010 @ 07:18:34 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Amazing...I am awestruck with the beauty of this poem. I can visualize the layers of emotions and thoughts here. Beautiful poem!

Heidi

Re: taken back (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 4th April 2010 @ 11:55:11 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I have read this nine to ten times now and still cannot stop being impressed. This seems to come from a place in you that one would not seem to notice from the surface because you are so sweet and that, my dear, is damn incredible writing.

Re: taken back (User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on Monday, 12th April 2010 @ 07:47:18 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I am wondering this poem is like a memory of love and beautiful torture. Excellent write... God bless :-) venkat

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